Romantic and sexual orientation
Romantic and sexual orientation are enduring personal qualities that incline people to feel romantic and sexual attraction to certain kinds of people. Sometimes terms for sexual orientation are also used to include romantic orientation, the tendency to feel romantic attraction to certain kinds of people. Other times, orientation labels differentiate between romantic and sexual attraction. Some of the most widely known labels for attraction, such as "lesbian," also imply the user's gender. Words for attraction experienced by nonbinary people or attraction to nonbinary people have been proposed, but are not as wide-spread yet. By some interpretations, every orientation includes attraction to some nonbinary people. This wiki article includes many terms for romantic and sexual orientation that may include nonbinary people, and explains how they may.
Usually attracted to women
In the English-speaking world, most people know about three orientations that are usually attracted to women: bisexuals (who are attracted to their own and other genders), heterosexual men, and homosexual women (lesbians). Some other identity labels have been proposed in order to have a way to say that one is usually attracted to women, without labeling one's own gender identity: gynephilia, femaric, feminamoric, neptunic, and venusic. Some identity labels have been proposed specifically for nonbinary people who are usually attracted to women: azalian, nonbinary people loving women (NBLW), and orbisian/trixic.
"An agender/genderless person who loves women." Coined by tumblr user genderless-gibberish..
An azalian flag created by tumblr user nooonbinaryyyy.
An unaligned nonbinary person who is only attracted to women. Suffixes are added to specify type of attration, e.g. donnasexual, donnaromantic, donnaqueerplatonic, etc. "Donna" means woman in Italian. Coined by a person named Fy in a 2017 submission to Beyond MOGAI Pride Flags.
Non-straight attraction by anyone to women and feminine-aligned people. Coined by Tumblr user goodpositivitylgbt.
Attracted exclusively to women. Various flags have been created for this orientation.
Some women who are attracted to women call themselves gay women. Gay women may or may not consider this to mean the exact same thing as lesbian. Gay women may or may not also consider themselves genderqueer. A notable example of this is American musician King Princess, who describes herself as a genderqueer person and gay woman.
Gynephilia, also referred to as gynesexuality or femsexuality, is a romantic or sexual orientation in which a person feels attraction to women or to traits they perceive as feminine. This term has gained criticism, arguing that the prefix "gyne-" is focused on genitals, not gender. Indeed, some sources do define it as "sexual attraction to the female anatomy" even when that anatomy belongs to someone whose gender identity is not female. Other sources disagree, saying that it is an "attraction toward women, females, and perceived femininity irrespective of whether or not they were assigned female at birth."
Simply put, people who identify as lesbians usually woman who feel attraction to other women. Historically and today, many lesbians have a gender identity and expression that they feel does not fit into the Western gender binary or patriarchal, heterosexual norms of womanhood. Some see "lesbian" as their gender identity as well as their sexuality. Some lesbians who use the words butch, stone, or dyke for themselves express and experience their gender identities through masculinity, androgyny, sexual difference, and nonconformity. Lesbians can be cisgender women, transgender women, and even some genderqueer and nonbinary people who feel their identities align with womanhood (nonbinary women).
Some notable nonbinary lesbians include:
- American autistic activist blogger Mel Baggs (1980 - 2020), who said sie was a genderless lesbian.
- American revolutionary communist and trans rights activist Leslie Feinberg (1949 - 2014). Feinberg identified as a transgender butch lesbian, describing butch as a sense of a queer masculine transgender identity neither female nor male. Feinberg's novel, Stone Butch Blues (1993), won the prestigious American Library Association Award for Gay and Lesbian Literature and a LAMBDA Literary Award.
- American musician Stevie Knipe
- American ballet dancer and choreographer Katy Pyle identifies as a genderqueer lesbian.
- Australian actor Ruby Rose, a genderfluid lesbian
- American LGBT+ activist Jamie Wildman (1950-2020).
- American musician and comedian Maxine "Max" Feldman (1945-2007) identified as a transgender butch lesbian and his/her gender identity was described by his/her partner as "both/and".
- American activist and actor Ianne Fields Stewart, a transfeminine nonbinary woman and lesbian
Non-binary people loving women (often abbreviated as nblw) is an expression used to describe nonbinary people who feel some type of attraction towards women. Trixic or orbisian are terms that can be used with the same meaning.
Some nblw prefer the term nonbinary lesbian to describe their attraction to women because it's easier, since lesbian is better known than trixic or orbisian, and some people can relate more to this term.
Gynesexual or finsexual are also terms to describe the attraction to femininity but they're not specifically for non-binary people and also don't exclusively describe the attraction to women.
Attraction to women, nongendered people, and all nonbinary people who are not male-aligned or masculine.
An orbisian or trixic person is a nonbinary person who is attracted to women (exclusively or not). The trixic or orbisian flag was created by non-alligned-sapphic on tumblr. Purples and yellows represent nonbinary-ness, while pink represents the attraction to women.
Sapphic generally stands for feminine-aligned people being attracted to other feminine-aligned people and women. It is an umbrella term for bisexual female-aligned people, lesbians, and any other people who consider themselves wlw (women who love women). Nonbinary people may consider themselves sapphic if they are partly female, sometimes female, female-aligned, or lunarian.
Term for nonbinary men who love women. Derived from the gemstone umbalite.
Only attracted to women and fem-aligned nonbinary people or partial women.
"Attraction to women (and/or feminine genders, depending on the person)."
Usually attracted to men
In the English-speaking world, most people know about three orientations that are usually attracted to men: bisexuals, heterosexual women, and homosexual men (gay men). Some other identity labels have been proposed in order to have a way to say that one is usually attracted to men, without labeling one's own gender identity: androphilia, marsic, mascic, and uranic. Some identity labels have been proposed specifically for nonbinary people who are usually attracted to men: nonbinary people loving men (NBLM), azurian, quadrisian/toric, thistlian, and viramoric.
An umbrella term for any male, male-aligned, or partially-male people who feel attraction to men (e.g. gay men, bisexual/pansexual men, gay asexual men, etc.) In short, anyone who considers themself a MLM (man who loves men) can identify as achillean. The term is derived from the mythical character Achilles. Nonbinary people may consider themselves achillean if they are partly male, sometimes male, male-aligned, or solarian.
Alternate terms/synonyms are "vincian", inspired by Leonardo da Vinci, "wildean" inspired by Oscar Wilde, and "hyacique" from the Hyacinth flower and the minor Greek deity.
An azurian is a nonbinary man who is attracted only to men. Coined by tumblr user bentonthefoxkin, the word is derived from the mineral azurite. Several flags have been created for this orientation.
People who identify as gay men have a male gender identity, and are attracted only to men. This word is applicable regardless of whether one or both people involved are cisgender men or transgender men. Some nonbinary people also identify as men to some degree (nonbinary men), and also usually experience attraction to men, and so they consider themselves gay.
Overall, most gay men have used the rainbow pride flag to represent themselves, but since it can also represent the whole LGBTQ community, several proposals for a gay-man-specific pride flag have been made, many with explicit inclusion of nonbinary gay men. It is impractical to include all the proposed flags here, so the gallery below is only a selection of those which gained some popularity and have been stated to incude nonbinary men.
Only attracted to men and masc-aligned nonbinary people or partial men.
Non-straight attraction by anyone to men and masculine-aligned people. Coined by Tumblr user goodpositivitylgbt.
"Attraction to men (and/or masculine genders, depending on the person)."
Nonbinary people loving men (very often abbreviated as nblm, NBLM) is a term that refers to nonbinary people who are sexually and/or romantically attracted to men, either exclusively or not.
Nonbinary person attracted to men (exclusively or not). 
"An agender/genderless person who loves men." Coined by tumblr user genderless-gibberish.
Thistlian pride flag by tumblr user madmaxthepaledragon
Attraction to men, nongendered people, and all nonbinary people who are not female-aligned or feminine.
Nonbinary person attracted exclusively to men. Various designs of the viramoric flag have been created; here is a selection.
Usually attracted to a different gender than one's own
Also called being straight, heterosexuality is a romantic and sexual orientation in which a person tends to feel sexual attraction only to people of a different gender identity than their own. For example, women who usually feel attracted only to men. This is heterosexuality even if one or both of the people are transgender, because this is based on gender identity rather than sex. Heterosexuality is often defined as attraction between persons of opposite gender. However, the idea "opposite gender" only makes sense within the gender binary, which sees all people as being either of only two genders, and that those two genders are supposedly opposites to each other. What "heterosexuality" means when nonbinary identities are taken into account is not agreed upon. By its etymology, it could imply "other" or "different" gender. In that case, a heterosexual nonbinary person could mean one who feels attraction to one gender other than nonbinary, to both binary genders, or to all genders other than their exact own. Nevertheless, heterosexuality is often assumed to refer to attraction between men and women only, even when nonbinary identities are acknowledged. This can cause distress to nonbinary people in a relationship and their partners as they struggle to find a labels for themselves. The question of whether a nonbinary person can identify as heterosexual-- and how exactly that person defines their heterosexuality-- is up to that individual person.
Coined by Mercuryretrograde, the term "strayt" is for nonbinary people who feel their attraction "is 'straight' but in a nonbinary way." Being strayt does not require attraction to only one gender or attraction to an "opposite" gender.
"Omnistraight" (likely coined to mirror omnigay) is a term which can be used by individuals with fluid gender who experience fluid attraction as well, such that they are always attracted to a gender different than their own current gender.
The original omnistraight flag is a combination of the straight flag and the genderfluid flag. It was created by beyond-mogai-pride-flags on November 29, 2017. An alternate omnistraight flag was designed by Tumblr user enb-ab-y on March 30, 2020.
Usually attracted to the same gender as one's own
Also called being gay, homosexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexual attraction only to people of the same gender as one's self. All homosexual people can also call themselves gay. Nonbinary people who are mainly attracted to other nonbinary people can call themselves homosexual, gay, or NBLNB (nonbinary loving nonbinary).
Nonbinary people who also identify as men or women to some degree, and are mainly attracted to the same, may also call themselves homosexual, gay, and/or lesbian.
The term "gai" is for nonbinary people who feel their attraction is gay but in a nonbinary way. Being gai does not require attraction to only one gender or attraction to the same gender.
Although gay is a synonym for homosexual, some people prefer the word gay over the word homosexual for themselves. A gay person can be any gender. There are gay men, gay women, and gay nonbinary people. Additionally, "gay" is sometimes used as a broad umbrella term for all non-cis-hetero people.
"Omnigay" is a term which can be used by individuals with fluid gender who experience fluid attraction as well, "so that the individual is always attracted to [their] same gender." Omnigay was coined in 2014 by tumblr user monetarymollusk. In 2017, tumblr user shadowofthedude coined a synonym "omnique" (pronounced om-NEEK) which can also be used as a noun (ex: "I'm an omnique.") "Omnique" is formed by combining "omnigay" and "queer".
Original Omnigay flag. Has been criticised for resembling the Confederate flag.
An omnigay/omnique flag by salppho. Intended as "combination of the sapphic, diamoric, and achillean flag colors in a configuration reflective of the trans flag."
Coined in 2018 by tumblr user identity-workshop. A symmaic person is a nonbinary person attracted to their same gender. The prefix sym is taken from the word "symmetry".
Usually attracted to more than one gender
There are many orientations that feel attraction to more than one gender. The most commonly known labels in this "multisexual umbrella" or "m-spectrum" are bisexuality, pansexuality, omnisexuality, and polysexuality, but there are many less common ones as well.
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexual attraction to more than one gender of people. Some define this as attraction to "women and men". Others define bisexuality as attraction to two categories of people: the same as one's own gender, and different than one's own gender. Others define bisexuality as attraction to people of any gender. What "bisexuality" means when nonbinary identities are taken into account is a matter of debate. Many people feel that "bi-" reinforces the gender binary, and erases nonbinary identities, preferring pansexual or polysexual. Others argue that "bisexual" was originally coined to describe a sexuality which included aspects of both heterosexuality and homosexuality, and that it should be interpreted as inclusive of attraction to all genders or sexes, although there are certainly bisexuals who do only feel attraction to two specific genders, whether those be "men and women", "women and genderqueer folks", or any two genders imaginable.
Notable bisexual nonbinary people include:
- Musician Sydney Dolezal
- Activist Shiri Eisner
- Activist, musician, and writer Denarii Grace
- Activist, educator, and therapist Alex Iantaffi
- Entrepreneur and activist Bethany C. Meyers
- Actor and musician Sara Ramirez
- Animator and musician Rebecca Sugar
- Musician and dancer Alex Sturbaum
Pansexuality is a sexual orientation that involves sexual attraction to people of all genders. Pansexuals are attracted to all types of people. They might be "gender-blind" (meaning that gender is insignificant or irrelevant in determining their attraction), or they might not. Some people prefer to call themselves 'pansexual' rather than bisexual because they feel the word "bisexual" has binary implications.
Notable pansexual nonbinary or genderqueer people include:
- Entertainer Courtney Act
- Musician and actor Shamir Bailey
- Musician Christine and the Queens
- Musician and actor Miley Cyrus
- Writer and CEO Tiffany Jana
- Astrophysicist and politician Amita Kuttner
- Model Kyle McCoy
- Writer and internet personality Jim Sterling
It is not uncommon for people to use both bisexual and pansexual as labels, due to the overlapping definitions. Notable nonbinary people who are both bi and pan include musician Mal Blum, musician Sarah Shook, and activist Gigi Raven Wilbur.
Omnisexuality/omniromanticism is attraction to all genders/every gender. By some definitions, this is a synonym for pansexual. By other definitions, it is similar to pansexuality but with gender playing a role in attraction.
Polysexuality is a sexual orientation with sexual attraction to several genders of people. Polysexuals are attracted towards two or more genders, but not all (as in pansexuality) and not just both binary genders (as in some understandings of bisexuality). The polysexual flag has pink for women, blue for men, and green for nonbinary people. Not to be confused with polyamory, which is about loving more than one partner at the same time.
"A woman who is attracted to women and nonbinary people (to any degree), exclusively or not."
"A woman who is attracted to men and nonbinary people (to any degree), exclusively or not."
"An agender/genderless person who loves men, women, nbs, and other agender/genderless people." Coined by tumblr user genderless-gibberish.
Flag proposed by tumblr user madmaxthepaledragon
A term coined in 2020 by tumblr user enbisian, this describes the orientation of nonbinary people (fem-aligned or non-aligned) who are attracted to only women and nonbinary people (fem-aligned or non-aligned). The word is a combination of "enby" and "orbisian". The definition is similar to neptunic, but unlike neptunic, enbisian cannot be used by men or male-aligned people.
"An agender/genderless person attracted to other agender/genderless people, non-binary people, and men." Coined by tumblr user libragender.
A nonbinary person who is attracted to men, nonbinary people, and women. Coined 20 May 2018 by Eli (tumblr user dispositiondocket). Named after the stone/mineral jasper. See also Versian.
An agender/genderless person attracted to men and nonbinary people. Coined in 2018 by tumblr user saturnic-vapour.
Also known as mercurian, this term can be used to describe attraction to women, men, and nonbinary people who are aligned towards one or the other, but not other-aligned or unaligned. Intended to be similar to other planetary-related terms to describe attraction for nonbinary people, such as venusic and marsic.
"An agender/genderless person who loves women and men". Coined in January 2020 by tumblr user genderless-gibberish.
Umbrella term for anyone (of any gender) who is attracted to more than one gender. Can be used as a noun ("The pluralian decided to date John") or as an adjective ("I'm so pluralian"). A synonym for "m-spec". Coined by dinolove453 on deviantart.
Being attracted to all genders except your own.
"Being attracted to the same gender and some or all non binary genders but NOT to the other binary gender [...] The word comes from 'per' (through) and 'iso' (identical) meaning literally 'being attracted to the same gender and through the binary i.e. to non binary genders'." Coined by queer-coloured-glasses on tumblr.
Term meaning "nonbinary people who love women, nonbinary people, and men! comes from the word universe, keeping in with the space-themed terms for nonbinary people. of course, a versian person could also i.d as pan-, but this term places emphasis on being of a nonbinary gender(s)". Term and flag created by xeno-aligned on tumblr in 2018. See also Jaspian.
Usually attracted to nonbinary people
Orientations tend to be named and categorized in a way that involves one's own gender identity. For example, "lesbian" indicates not only that one is attracted to women, but also that one identifies as a woman. Some words for sexual orientations make reference to one's own gender: heterosexuality and homosexuality, gay and lesbian.
Some words for sexual orientations don't make reference to one's own gender, which makes it easier for nonbinary people to use them. This includes androphilic, gynephilic, ceterosexuality, and asexuality. This is also the case for bisexuality, polysexuality, omnisexuality, and pansexuality, which mean attraction to more than one gender of people. People disagree about how each of these involve transgender, nonbinary, and intersex people, and which of these words is the most inclusive and respectful of the legitimacy of them.
Androgynesexual refers to attraction to androgynous or gender neutral people. However, androgynesexual carries the connotation that the person of attraction is both masculine and feminine, rather than neither. Sometimes it is defined as attraction to men and women with androgynous appearances, or to simply anyone with androgynous appearance.
Antigendersexual / Antigenderromantic
Astroidian or Asteroidian
Umbrella term for any man or masculine-aligned person who is attracted to nonbinary people, including but not limited to: gay men, bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals, etc. An alternative term for this is Adonic.
"An agender/genderless person who loves other agender/genderless people." Coined by tumblr user genderless-gibberish.
Delphinian flag by tumblr user madmaxthepaledragon.
"A form of attraction felt by nonbinary people who feel that being nonbinary affects their experience with attraction or a nonbinary form of attraction that does not fit a same or similar vs opposite or other gender attraction dichotomy. ‘Diamoric orientations’ is an umbrella term for all orientations lables that describe nonbinary attraction that does not conform to a similar/opposite gender dichotomy." "Diamoric" can also describe a relationship or attraction that involves at least one nonbinary person.
The term was originally going to be "dionysian" from the god Dionysus, but this drew criticism, and "diamoric" was decided as the replacement. It is formed from the Greek prefix "dia-", meaning "passing through", "going apart", or "thoroughly/completely" and the Latin "amor" for love.
"[NBLNB], nonbinary people who experience attraction towards nonbinary people (whether exclusively or not)."
"[A]n umbrella term to describe any attraction to nonbinary people. coined with nonbinary people in mind, but can be used by anyone who is attracted to nonbinary people and not straight."
Attraction solely to lunarians, female-aligned nonbinary people, and feminine nonbinary people (but not women). Coined in 2017 by tumblr user loud-and-queer.
"An agender/penderless person who loves nonbinary people and agender/genderless people". Coined in January 2020 by tumblr user genderless-gibberish. Note: this word has also been used to mean a certain type of nonbinary gender expression.
Nonbinary people loving nonbinary people (often abbreviated as nblnb, NBlNB, NblNb) is a term that refers to nonbinary people who are sexually and/or romantically attracted to other nonbinary people.
Attraction solely to other nonbinary people, including those who may be woman-aligned and/or man-aligned, but not to women nor men. Appears to have been coined in 2018 by tumblr user arco-pluris.
Ceterosexuality, formerly skoliosexuality, means a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexual attraction to nonbinary people, and perhaps other kinds of transgender people as well.  Some believe the term is only to be used by nonbinary people, though it was coined in the context of binary people's attraction to nonbinary people.  Non-binary people who are attracted to other non-binary people may also use the term homosexual/homoromantic. Skoliosexual was first coined in 2010 by the user Nelde on DeviantArt, but due to a somewhat problematic etymology (skolio- comes from the Greek for "crooked"), some prefer to use the term ceterosexual, (from Latin "cetera", meaning "other") or allotroposexual (from Greek "allotropo" meaning "different").
Attraction solely to solarians, male-aligned nonbinary people, and masculine nonbinary people (but not men).
Attraction solely to non-aligned nonbinary people and stellarians. Given that this term is based on stellarian, it could also be taken as a term for attraction solely to stellarians and gender-neutral nonbinary people. This would be similar to the origins and use of lunaric and solaric.
Attraction to nonbinary people and stellarians. Judging by the wording, the use of "nonbinary people" here may be referring to non-aligned nonbinary people.
Wisterian pride flag by tumblr user madmaxthepaledragon
Usually not attracted
Disambiguation: for asexuality in the sense of a person born without sexual organs, that is an intersex condition, so instead see intersex. People who don't experience sexual attraction are most often not intersex.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person usually does not feel sexual attraction to anyone. They may have little or no interest in sexual activity. This is an enduring characteristic. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy, in which a person may feel sexual attraction, but intentionally chooses not to have sex, because asexuals do not desire sex in the first place. Asexuality sometimes means aromanticism, too, so a person does not feel sexual or romantic attraction. In other cases, people use asexuality to mean something distinct from aromanticism, to say that they feel romantic attraction, but not sexual attraction. Some asexual people enjoy taking part in sexual and/or romantic relationships, even though they do not feel an instinctive need to do so. Many asexuals see asexuality as a queer identity, and under the umbrella of marginalized orientations, gender identities, and intersex (MOGII), because they experience discrimination for their orientation, like lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. Asexuality is also an umbrella term, which can include other kinds of sexual orientations in the asexual spectrum, such as aromanticism, and gray-asexuality (partly lacking sexual attraction).
Notable asexual nonbinary people include:
- American writer, public speaker, and model Tyler Ford (b. 1990) is agender and asexual.
- Japanese manga artist Yuhki Kamatani (b. 1983) came out in 2012 as asexual and X-gender.
- American author and illustrator Maia Kobabe
- American writer Sassafras Lowrey.
- British transgender and asexual activist Nat Titman (b. 1979).
An aromantic is someone who usually experiences little or no romantic attraction, though they may feel other forms of attraction.
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexual attraction only to people they have formed a strong bond with, friends for example. Grey-asexuality is similar to demisexuality, but not exactly the same.
- Intersex activist Hans Lindahl (demisexual)
- Author Corey Alexander (demiromantic and demigraysexual).
Some other identity labels that fall under the asexual and aromantic spectrum are listed here (external link).
- Sexes, in the sense of how people's bodies are put into categories such as female and male
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4. Of or relating to sexual or romantic intimacy between men, in the style of Achilles' relationship with Patroclus.
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The question of the role of gender in sexuality is particularly problematic for individuals whose own genders do not fall neatly into either the 'woman' or the 'man' category. [...] Seven bisexual respondents in the current study identify themselves as bisexual not only because they are attracted to both women and men, but because they are, themselves, either both women and men, neither women and men, both passive and active in sex, or both genitally male and female— the latter occurring in one respondents' fantasies only.
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Pansexual/omnisexual: people who are attracted (sexually, romantically, and/or otherwise) to people of all genders and sexes, or to multiple genders and sexes, or regardless of sex and gender, and who identify as pan/omni. Pansexuality and omnisexuality differ from each other by their Greek and Latin roots (pan meaning all in Greek, and omni the same in Latin.)
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- @sassafraslowrey (11 October 2019). "and to have made a core aspect of my career around writing the queerest books and stories I can imagine. Happy #NationalComingOutDay Queerly yours a: #runaway, formerly #homeless, #genderqueer, #trans, #femme, #queer, #polyamorous, #asexual, #little, #leather boy" – via Twitter.
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