Femme: Difference between revisions

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Some argue that the word ''femme''<ref group="note"> Note that, in French, ''femme'' means ''woman''. The pronunciation is also different ([fam] in French, [fɛm] in English). This article is about the English usage of this word.</ref> can only be used to describe people in the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and it can be a synonym of the expression ''lipstick lesbian'' in some cases. Because there are many stereotypes surrounding femininity, the term ''femme'' is often used to subvert cultural expectations about how a woman should look like. For this reason, many (but not all) people that identify as ''femme'' do not try to adhere to these stereotypes.<ref name="Tonic" /> This is similar to how the word ''queer'' was reclaimed by the LGBTQ community.
Some argue that the word ''femme''<ref group="note"> Note that, in French, ''femme'' means ''woman''. The pronunciation is also different ([fam] in French, [fɛm] in English). This article is about the English usage of this word.</ref> can only be used to describe people in the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and it can be a synonym of the expression ''lipstick lesbian'' in some cases. Because there are many stereotypes surrounding femininity, the term ''femme'' is often used to subvert cultural expectations about how a woman should look like. For this reason, many (but not all) people that identify as ''femme'' do not try to adhere to these stereotypes.<ref name="Tonic" /> This is similar to how the word ''queer'' was reclaimed by the LGBTQ community.


Femme has been used for women as well as men<ref name="LOTB">{{Cite web |title=Glossary |author= |work=Life Outside The Binary: Nonbinary Transgender Information Centre |date= |access-date=11 November 2020 |url= https://lifeoutsidethebinary.com/glossary|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230513043619/http://lifeoutsidethebinary.com/glossary|archive-date=17 July 2023}}</ref><ref name="michelson">{{Cite web |title=This Is What Femme Looks Like |last=Michelson |first=Noah |work=HuffPost |date=2 February 2016 |access-date=7 November 2020 |url= https://www.huffpost.com/entry/whatfemmelookslike_n_5890738|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230710125610/https://www.huffpost.com/entry/whatfemmelookslike_n_5890738 |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|title=What Feminists Can Learn From The Lesbian Sex Radicals|last=Nichols|first=Margaret|journal=Conditions|date=1987|issue=14|page=161|quote=For some women, gender is less important than s/m identity; for others it is less important than some other aspect of personality. Still others are attracted only to butches or only to femmes—but they can be male or female butches or male or female femmes.|url=https://voices.revealdigital.org/cgi-bin/independentvoices?a=d&d=DCDCDIG19870101&e=-------en-20--1--txt-txIN---------------1|archive-url=False|archive-date=17 July 2023}}</ref><ref name="Roseninterview">{{Cite web |title=‘I wanted to capture this idea that femme men are considered less than by the queer community’: TQ talks to Lev A.C. Rosen |author= |work=The Queerness |date=3 August 2020 |access-date=26 March 2021 |url= https://thequeerness.com/2020/08/03/i-wanted-to-capture-this-idea-that-femme-men-are-considered-less-than-by-the-queer-community-tq-talks-to-lev-a-c-rosen/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230529181828/https://thequeerness.com/2020/08/03/i-wanted-to-capture-this-idea-that-femme-men-are-considered-less-than-by-the-queer-community-tq-talks-to-lev-a-c-rosen/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>, and also for people outside of the gender binary.<ref name="Shewan" /><ref name="Bashan">{{Cite web |title=What Does It Mean To Be Femme? |author=Bashan, Frankie |work=Little Gay Book |date=7 September 2020 |access-date=29 September 2020 |url= https://www.littlegaybook.com/what-it-means-to-be-femme/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230331030230/https://littlegaybook.com/what-it-means-to-be-femme/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref><ref>[https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FemmesCanBeThems&src=typed_query&f=live Twitter hashtag #FemmesCanBeThems]</ref> Nonbinary femmes struggle against the misconception that nonbinary people must have an [[Androgyny|androgynous]] expression, since their own expression is feminine.<ref name="smith">{{Cite web |title=Beyond the binary: Yes, nonbinary femmes exist |last=smith |first=s.e. |work=this ain't livin' |date=27 April 2015 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= http://meloukhia.net/2015/04/beyond_the_binary_yes_nonbinary_femmes_exist/ |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230601181742/http://meloukhia.net/2015/04/beyond_the_binary_yes_nonbinary_femmes_exist/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>
Femme has been used for women as well as men<ref name="LOTB">{{Cite web |title=Glossary |author= |work=Life Outside The Binary: Nonbinary Transgender Information Centre |date= |access-date=11 November 2020 |url= https://lifeoutsidethebinary.com/glossary|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230513043619/http://lifeoutsidethebinary.com/glossary|archive-date=17 July 2023}}</ref><ref name="michelson">{{Cite web |title=This Is What Femme Looks Like |last=Michelson |first=Noah |work=HuffPost |date=2 February 2016 |access-date=7 November 2020 |url= https://www.huffpost.com/entry/whatfemmelookslike_n_5890738|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230710125610/https://www.huffpost.com/entry/whatfemmelookslike_n_5890738 |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|title=What Feminists Can Learn From The Lesbian Sex Radicals|last=Nichols|first=Margaret|journal=Conditions|date=1987|issue=14|page=161|quote=For some women, gender is less important than s/m identity; for others it is less important than some other aspect of personality. Still others are attracted only to butches or only to femmes—but they can be male or female butches or male or female femmes.|url=https://voices.revealdigital.org/cgi-bin/independentvoices?a=d&d=DCDCDIG19870101&e=-------en-20--1--txt-txIN---------------1|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230806031242/https://www.jstor.org/site/reveal-digital/independent-voices/|archive-date=6 August 2023|access-date=7 November 2020|url-status=bot: unknown}}</ref><ref name="Roseninterview">{{Cite web |title=‘I wanted to capture this idea that femme men are considered less than by the queer community’: TQ talks to Lev A.C. Rosen |author= |work=The Queerness |date=3 August 2020 |access-date=26 March 2021 |url= https://thequeerness.com/2020/08/03/i-wanted-to-capture-this-idea-that-femme-men-are-considered-less-than-by-the-queer-community-tq-talks-to-lev-a-c-rosen/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230529181828/https://thequeerness.com/2020/08/03/i-wanted-to-capture-this-idea-that-femme-men-are-considered-less-than-by-the-queer-community-tq-talks-to-lev-a-c-rosen/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>, and also for people outside of the gender binary.<ref name="Shewan" /><ref name="Bashan">{{Cite web |title=What Does It Mean To Be Femme? |author=Bashan, Frankie |work=Little Gay Book |date=7 September 2020 |access-date=29 September 2020 |url= https://www.littlegaybook.com/what-it-means-to-be-femme/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230331030230/https://littlegaybook.com/what-it-means-to-be-femme/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref><ref>[https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FemmesCanBeThems&src=typed_query&f=live Twitter hashtag #FemmesCanBeThems]</ref> Nonbinary femmes struggle against the misconception that nonbinary people must have an [[Androgyny|androgynous]] expression, since their own expression is feminine.<ref name="smith">{{Cite web |title=Beyond the binary: Yes, nonbinary femmes exist |last=smith |first=s.e. |work=this ain't livin' |date=27 April 2015 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= http://meloukhia.net/2015/04/beyond_the_binary_yes_nonbinary_femmes_exist/ |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230601181742/http://meloukhia.net/2015/04/beyond_the_binary_yes_nonbinary_femmes_exist/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>


Some people claim that in the same way that nobody uses the words ''bear'' or ''twink'' unless they are gay men, nobody should use words such as ''femme'' or ''butch'' unless they are women. Therefore, they consider it appropriation.<ref name=":0" />
Some people claim that in the same way that nobody uses the words ''bear'' or ''twink'' unless they are gay men, nobody should use words such as ''femme'' or ''butch'' unless they are women. Therefore, they consider it appropriation.<ref name=":0" />