Allies: Difference between revisions
→Etiquette: Added a section on proper language.
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== Etiquette == | == Etiquette == | ||
A lot of people forget their manners when they're talking to [[transgender]] people. Some allies think they mean well, but they say rude things to trans people that they would never say to [[cisgender]] people. This is just because most people haven't brought up with a good idea of the social protocol for some situations that are new to them. A lot of hurtful media has given people wrong ideas of what to do in these situations. For example, television shows where [[transgender women]] get asked intrusive questions give people the idea that this is what to do as soon as they find out that someone is transgender. | A lot of people forget their manners when they're talking to [[transgender]] people. Some allies think they mean well, but they say rude things to trans people that they would never say to [[cisgender]] people. This is just because most people haven't brought up with a good idea of the social protocol for some situations that are new to them. A lot of hurtful media has given people wrong ideas of what to do in these situations. For example, television shows where [[transgender women]] get asked intrusive questions give people the idea that this is what to do as soon as they find out that someone is transgender. | ||
=== Use proper language and pronouns === | |||
<p><small>This only applies to people who would like people to use gender-inclusive language, but otherwise, it is still more polite not to use language that would suggest a false gender.</small></p> | |||
<p>For parents and friends of [[nonbinary]] people, it can be difficult to think of your friend or child as who they are, but you should try to think about them that way. When talking to oneself about another person, it is better for them not to misgender them silently, since they will probably be more likely to speak incorrectly. A person who thinks of another as the wrong gender but tries not to misgender them is being dishonest and sneaky. If you think about your friend and child correctly and without delusion, it will prevent accidental or intentional [[misgendering]], which will lessen their suffering. Imagine a world where everyone calls you by the wrong pronoun and labels you as the wrong gender, then everyone else who hears people talk about you assumes you are the gender associated with that pronoun and treats you that way. It would certainly be stressful.</p> | |||
<p>Second, do not dare to use gender-specific language inappropriate to your friend/child's true identity behind their back. The first reason for this is the fact that it is simply impolite to talk about a person behind their back, and second, no one wants to give a bad impression of their friends. It is offensive to use gender-specific language which does not apply to a person, so do not do it.</p> | |||
=== Don't give unsolicited advice === | === Don't give unsolicited advice === | ||
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* Take up a [[gender neutral title]] for yourself, such as [[Mx]]. This isn't appropriating from nonbinary people something that belongs only to them, because the Mx title is for anyone who doesn't want their title to tell their gender. Everyone has the right to leave their gender undisclosed. Ask organizations if they will let you or others to be listed under a Mx title in their paperwork. Also ask if they let people go without a title entirely. | * Take up a [[gender neutral title]] for yourself, such as [[Mx]]. This isn't appropriating from nonbinary people something that belongs only to them, because the Mx title is for anyone who doesn't want their title to tell their gender. Everyone has the right to leave their gender undisclosed. Ask organizations if they will let you or others to be listed under a Mx title in their paperwork. Also ask if they let people go without a title entirely. | ||
* When you introduce yourself, tell your name and [[pronouns]]. When you meet someone new, ask for their name and pronouns. This isn't appropriating from transgender people. It helps create a society that is friendly to transgender people if you make it standard etiquette to ask about someone's pronouns, rather than guessing someone's pronouns. | * When you introduce yourself, tell your name and [[pronouns]]. When you meet someone new, ask for their name and pronouns. This isn't appropriating from transgender people. It helps create a society that is friendly to transgender people if you make it standard etiquette to ask about someone's pronouns, rather than guessing someone's pronouns. | ||
== See also == | == See also == | ||