Editing Coming out
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{{Personal story | {{Work in progress|Ondo}}{{Personal story | ||
| quote = I came out first to myself, which was after a period of denial and confusion, followed by the joy of self discovery. | | quote = I came out first to myself, which was after a period of denial and confusion, followed by the joy of self discovery. | ||
| name = Jay | | name = Jay | ||
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| identity = Nonbinary | | identity = Nonbinary | ||
}} | }} | ||
'''Coming out''' is a phrase common in the [[LGBT]] community that means "to recognise one's [[sexual orientation]], [[gender identity]], or sex identity, and to [become] open about it with oneself and with others."<ref>"LGBT resources: Definition of terms." [http://geneq.berkeley.edu/lgbt_resources_definiton_of_terms] | '''Coming out''' is a phrase common in the [[LGBT]] community that means "to recognise one's [[sexual orientation]], [[gender identity]], or sex identity, and to [become] open about it with oneself and with others."<ref>"LGBT resources: Definition of terms." [http://geneq.berkeley.edu/lgbt_resources_definiton_of_terms]</ref> People with [[nonbinary]] gender identities have to come out if they are to be [[recognition|recognised]] as nonbinary. This is because in cultures that recognise only the [[gender binary]], nonbinary people have only the options of being closeted (not "out" or open about one's gender identity) or stealth (living as one's chosen gender without others knowing that one is trans). There are some particular needs that are unique to the situation of coming out as nonbinary, as opposed to coming out as anything else. For example, the average person has an idea of what [[lesbian|lesbians]] are, and knows that they exist in real life. Whatever other obstacles a lesbian woman might face when she comes out, she likely doesn't have to contend with those particular issues. However, the average person doesn't know what nonbinary people are, and doesn't have context for them existing in real life. Anyone who comes out as nonbinary needs to be prepared to explain what nonbinary gender is, and be prepared for the possibility that others might not accept it as a real gender identity. | ||
== Before coming out == | == Before coming out == | ||
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=== Analyse your audience === | === Analyse your audience === | ||
Depending on who you want to come out | Depending on who you want to come out, you will need to take a different approach. A young person is more likely to accept your identity than a grandparent is. However, always keep in mind that the opinions of older people tend to be less open because of their education, not because they don't love you. If you have a common friend or family member who is transgender, it might be easier for them to accept you, or at least it will be easier for you to guess their reaction. Depending on their attitude towards transgender or nonbinary people, preparing some resources for them will come in handy. | ||
=== Prepare some resources === | === Prepare some resources === | ||
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In case you decide to come out with a letter or a text message, it is recommended to meet in real life afterwards so that you have the opportunity to have a face-to-face conversation about it. | In case you decide to come out with a letter or a text message, it is recommended to meet in real life afterwards so that you have the opportunity to have a face-to-face conversation about it. | ||
==Template letters== | |||
When coming out as nonbinary to someone in writing, it can help to use template letters to figure out what to say, and how to say it well. See the page [[Template letters#Coming out|template letters - coming out]] for a collection of these. | When coming out as nonbinary to someone in writing, it can help to use template letters to figure out what to say, and how to say it well. See the page [[Template letters#Coming out|template letters - coming out]] for a collection of these. | ||
==External links== | ==External links== | ||
*[https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_out_to_Family Susan's Place Transgender Resource Wiki - A Guide to Coming Out to Family] | |||
*[ | *[https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_Out_at_the_Workplace Susan's Place Transgender Resource Wiki - A Guide to Coming Out at the Workplace] | ||
*[ | *[https://www.susans.org/wiki/Coming_out_for_transsexuals_and_transvestites Susan's Place Transgender Resource Wiki - Coming out for transsexuals and transvestites] | ||
*[ | *"Telling Your Parents" by Kay Metsker (1989), [https://www.susans.org/wiki/Telling_your_parents Part 1], [https://www.susans.org/wiki/Telling_your_parents_-_Part_II Part 2]. | ||
*"Telling Your Parents" by Kay Metsker (1989), [ | |||
==See also== | ==See also== | ||
*[[Practical | *[[Practical Resources]] | ||
*[[Identities]] | *[[Identities]] | ||
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<references/> | <references/> | ||
[[Category: | [[Category:Practical resources]] | ||
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