Pronouns

In linguistics and grammar, a pronoun is a word that substitutes for a noun or noun phrase. It is a particular case of a pro-form. In the context of transgender issues, pronouns is a shorthand term that specifically refers to third person personal pronouns. The most commonly used third person personal pronouns among nonbinary people are singular they, he/him and she/her.

Grammar

Personal pronouns may be classified by person, number, gender and case. English has three persons (first, second and third) and two numbers (singular and plural); in the third person singular there are also distinct pronoun forms for male, female and neuter gender.

First person pronouns (I, me) have no gender, and second person pronouns (you, your) have no gender, so are the same for everyone regardless of gender identity.

Third person pronouns may vary based on the gender of the person you're talking about. Traditionally:

• He/him/his/his/himself is used when talking about men and boys
• She/her/her/hers/herself is used when talking about girls and women
• They/them/their/theirs/themselves or themself is used when talking about a hypothetical person or an individual of unknown gender

Use of singular they among nonbinary people for people of known nonbinary gender is increasingly common, and is somewhat supported by the Associated Press Stylebook.

Nonbinary people's pronouns

In a 2016 survey of over 3,000 nonbinary people, the top five pronouns participants were happy for people to use for them were:

• Singular they/them: 77.5%
• She/her: 25.0%
• He/him: 23.4%
• Mix it up: 12.2%
• None/avoid pronouns: 11.0%

In this survey people were able to select more than one pronoun each. There were participants who chose one set of gendered pronouns (she/her, he/him), and participants who chose both. This is notable because it illustrates that pronouns and gender are not necessarily linked, and it is fairly common to prefer gendered pronouns as a nonbinary person.

The most popular neopronoun was xe/xem/xyr/xyrs/xemself at 9.7%.

Pronouns and transition

During transition it's fairly common for transgender and nonbinary people to ask others to change which pronouns are used to refer to them.

For example, a trans man has probably been called "she" and "her" from birth based on his female birth assignment, but would prefer to be called "he" and "him". Part of transition for the trans man may involve him asking his friends and family to refer to him as "he/him" instead of "she/her" from now on.

Nonbinary people tend to have a harder time if they decide that they prefer pronouns that reflect their nonbinary gender. Many people complain that the most commonly accepted pronoun among nonbinary people, singular they, is grammatically incorrect. Many people struggle to use singular they, a pronoun usually used to refer to someone of unknown gender, for someone whose nonbinary gender is known.

Neopronouns

If a nonbinary person's pronouns were created after singular they, ie: within the last 400 years, it's known as a neopronoun.

For most people neopronouns are very difficult to learn how to use. This is because in English pronouns are a closed class, meaning that our use of them is very difficult to change. Contrast with nouns, which are an open class; it takes longer to learn to use a new pronoun in English than learning a new noun. The most recent pronoun we learned was the second person personal pronoun you, which has been used for hundreds of years to refer to everyone with plural verbs regardless of the number of people you're speaking to. Compared to nouns, an open class in English: dozens of nouns are added to the Oxford English Dictionary each year.

In a survey of 3,000 nonbinary people in 2016, the five most popular neopronouns were:

• Xe - xe/xem/xyr/xyrs/xemself - 9.7%
• Zie - zie/hir/hir/hirs/hirself, or variation - 8.7%
• Spivak - e/em/eir/eirs/emself, or variation - 7.4%
• Fae - fae/faer/faer/faers/faeself, or variation - 4.1%
• Co - co/co/cos/cos/coself - 1.2%

See also

• List of neopronouns
• Gender neutral language
• Gender neutral titles