Questioning
Questioning means that someone is still figuring out their gender identity, sexual orientation, or gender expression.
Some people use questioning as an identity, if they still have not exactly figured out what their gender or sexual orientation is, or if they have no desire to figure it out and are happy with the label questioning. The only person who truly knows the answer to the gender question is you.[1]
Some things to ask yourself if you are ready
Here are a few questions that you could ask yourself if you are ready to begin the journey of figuring out your gender identity and/or sexual orientation. The questions below focus mainly on gender identity.
- How do you feel about your birth gender?
- What gender do you wish people saw you as?
- How would you like to express your gender?
- What pronouns (like she/her, he/him, they/them and many neopronouns) do you feel the most comfortable using? (for a whole article about pronouns, click here)
- When you imagine your future, what gender are you? (for an article about genders, click here)[1]
Common doubts that people have when questioning
- Many people worry that their age might not give them the best idea on how they actually feel about their gender
- Others worry about the social impact that their transition might have, ie, if their place in school will be affected and things like that
- Some people think that they might be confusing their sexual orientation with their gender identity
- Some others worry that they might not be able to fulfill the roles that society would set on them after they transition
- Others wonder if they are not neurotypical, and that might make them feel the way they do about their gender[2]
General suggestions for those who are questioning
- Experiment with your gender in safe, private spaces
- It is never 'too late' to transition
- 'Gender tests' (the ones on the internet) are not recommended, as they are often not accurate
- Being accepted is not an all-or-nothing binary. Some people might accept you, some might not
- There is no typical or 'right' way to transition
- You do not have to start your transition immediately, you might have to wait until you are out of school, or in a safe place, or have the money and resources[2]
