Romantic and sexual orientation: Difference between revisions

'''Romantic and sexual orientation''' are enduring personal qualities that incline people to feel romantic and sexual attraction to certain kinds of people. Sometimes terms for sexual orientation are also used to include romantic orientation, the tendency to feel romantic attraction to certain kinds of people. Other times, orientation labels differentiate between romantic and sexual attraction. Some of the most widely known labels for attraction, such as "lesbian," also imply the user's gender. Words for attraction experienced by nonbinary people or attraction to nonbinary people have been proposed, but are not as wide-spread yet. By some interpretations, every orientation includes attraction to some nonbinary people.<ref name="KravitzM">{{Cite web |title=Does Liking a Nonbinary Person Make You Bi or Pan? Not Necessarily. |last=M. |first=Kravitz |work=Medium |date=29 June 2020 |access-date=25 August 2020 |url= https://medium.com/an-injustice/does-liking-a-nonbinary-person-make-you-bi-or-pan-not-necessarily-359241923561}}</ref><ref>[https://kil9.tumblr.com/post/617496855567286272/i-think-a-reason-why-so-many-people-dont-accept i think a reason why so many people dont accept that every sexuality is inclusive of nonbinary people is because they think every sexuality must be inclusive of ALL nonbinary people, and that’s just not true], 7 May 2020</ref> This wiki article includes many terms for romantic and sexual orientation that may include nonbinary people, and explains how they may.  

In the English-speaking world, most people know about three orientations that are usually attracted to women: bisexuals (who are attracted to their own and other genders), [[Romantic and sexual orientation#Heterosexuality|heterosexual men]], and [[Romantic and sexual orientation#Homosexuality|homosexual women]] ([[Romantic and sexual orientation#Lesbian|lesbians]]). Some other identity labels have been proposed in order to have a way to say that one is usually attracted to women, without labeling one's own gender identity: gynephilia, femaric, feminamoric, neptunic, and venusic. Some identity labels have been proposed specifically for nonbinary people who are usually attracted to women: azalian, nonbinary people loving women (NBLW), and orbisian/trixic.  

=== Gay women ===

Some women who are attracted to women call themselves gay women. Gay women may or may not consider this to mean the exact same thing as lesbian. Gay women may or may not also consider themselves genderqueer. A notable example of this is American musician [[King Princess]], who describes herself as a [[genderqueer]] person and gay [[woman]].<ref name="Menuez">{{Cite web |title=King Princess |last=Menuez |first=Bobbi |work=theingenuemagazine.com |date= |access-date=6 May 2020 |url= https://theingenuemagazine.com/king-princess/}}</ref>

===Lesbian===

[[File:Winning Orange-Pink Lesbian Pride Flag.png|thumb|A lesbian flag that won a contest for designing a lesbian flag in 2018, in which trans and nonbinary lesbians were welcome.<ref>''The search for the official lesbian flag.'' July 28, 2018. https://official-lesbian-flag.tumblr.com/post/176134630994/been-doing-some-research-and-looking-at-results</ref>]]

[[File:Sapphic Flag.jpg|thumb|A lesbian flag design created in 2018, [https://archive.is/0rFRD based off the colors of flowers in a poem by Sappho]. The link explains it was created specifically to include ''all'' lesbians, including those who are trans, [[butch]], and people of color.]]

Simply put, people who identify as lesbians usually woman who feel attraction to other women. Historically and today, many lesbians have a gender identity and expression that they feel does not fit into the Western [[gender binary]] or patriarchal, heterosexual norms of womanhood. Some see "lesbian" as their gender identity as well as their sexuality.<ref name="Gender Census 2018">{{Cite web |title=Gender Census 2018 Identity words (public) |author=Cassian |date=21 June 2018 |access-date=27 July 2020 |url= https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12cN-ooc5EuLIaqbmfqbjZffYldTzWRAHc-qZaRJ2xsQ/edit#gid=1402706910}}</ref><ref name="Gender Census 2019">{{Cite web |title=Gender Census 2019 - the public spreadsheet |author=Cassian |date=30 March 2019 |access-date=27 July 2020 |url= https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ePCyWMdorSHAaxNcd1Iv64oLvkdgeoZldTdGZZTHlvY/edit#gid=498446722}}</ref><ref>https://www.deviantart.com/pantomorph/art/lesbian-gender-pride-flag-806822407</ref> Some lesbians who use the words [[butch]], [[stone]], or [[dyke]] for themselves express and experience their gender identities through [[masculinity]], [[androgyny]], sexual difference, and nonconformity.<ref name=Feinberg>{{cite book|last1=Feinberg|first1=Leslie|title=Stone Butch Blues: A Novel|date=1993|edition=1st|publisher=Firebrand Books|location=|isbn=1563410303}}</ref><ref name=Halberstam>{{Cite book|last1=Halberstam|first1=Judith|authorlink=Judith Halberstam|title=Female Masculinity|year=1998|edition=1st|page=[https://archive.org/details/femalemasculinit00judi/page/111 111]|publisher=Duke University Press|location=|chapter=Lesbian Masculinity: Even Stone Butches Get the Blues|isbn=0822322269|url-access=registration|url=https://archive.org/details/femalemasculinit00judi/page/111}}</ref><ref name="Krantz">{{cite journal|last1=Krantz|first1=Susan E.|title=Reconsidering the Etymology of Bulldike|journal=American Speech|date=1995|volume=70|issue=2|pages=217–221|doi=10.2307/455819|issn=00031283|url=https://scholarworks.uno.edu/engl_facpubs/41|jstor=455819}}</ref> Lesbians can be [[woman#cisgender women|cisgender women]], [[woman#transgender women|transgender women]], and even some genderqueer and nonbinary people who feel their identities [[gender alignment|align]] with womanhood ([[woman#nonbinary women|nonbinary women]]).<ref name="Carney">{{Cite web |title=In Defense of Non-Binary Lesbianism |last=Carney |first=Sasha |work=Broad Recognition |date=4 November 2019 |access-date=14 June 2020 |url= https://www.broadsatyale.com/in-defense-of-non-binary-lesbianism/}}</ref><ref>{{cite news |title=The struggles of rejecting the gender binary |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/04/magazine/gender-nonbinary.html |date=4 June 2019 |work=The New York Times Magazine |access-date=1 February 2020 |last=Bergner |first=Daniel}}</ref><ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/44110/1/andrea-lawlor-paul-takes-the-form-of-a-mortal-girl-book-interview |authorlink=Andrea Lawlor |title=Andrea Lawlor explores the wild possibilities of sexual-shapeshifting |publisher=Dazed |date=18 April 2019 |access-date=1 February 2020}}</ref><ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/lesbian-slang-terms-definitions#slide-8 |title=17 lesbian slang terms every baby gay needs to learn |publisher=Refinery 29 |date=30 March 2018 |access-date=1 February 2020}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal |last=Ormiston |first=Wendy |title=Stone butch celebration: A Transgender-inspired revolution in academia |pages=198-216 |date=July 1996 |doi=10.17763/haer.66.2.46r7n64515203412 |journal=Harvard Educational Review |volume=66 |issue=2}}</ref>  

Some notable nonbinary lesbians include:

* American autistic activist blogger [[Mel Baggs]] (1980 - 2020), who said sie<ref name="TDOV">{{cite web|url=https://withasmoothroundstone.tumblr.com/post/115187595380/transgender-day-of-visibility-mel-age-34|title=Transgender day of visibility.|date=April 2015}}</ref> was a [[genderless]] lesbian.<ref>{{cite web|url=https://withasmoothroundstone.tumblr.com/post/145842413020/im-a-genderless-lesbian-and|title=I’m a genderless lesbian and…|date=June 2016}}</ref>

* American revolutionary communist and trans rights activist [[Leslie Feinberg]] (1949 - 2014). Feinberg identified as a transgender [[butch]] lesbian, describing butch as a sense of a queer masculine transgender identity neither female nor male. Feinberg's novel, ''Stone Butch Blues'' (1993), won the prestigious American Library Association Award for Gay and Lesbian Literature and a LAMBDA Literary Award.<ref name="lesliefeinberg">[http://www.lesliefeinberg.net/ Village Voice]</ref>

* American ballet dancer and choreographer [[Katy Pyle]] identifies as a [[genderqueer]] lesbian.<ref>[http://www.ballez.org/company/ Bio], retrieved May 17, 2020</ref>

* Australian actor [[Ruby Rose]], a [[genderfluid]] lesbian<ref name="Gomez">{{Cite web |title=Gender-fluid Ruby Rose opens up about the backlash she's received for identifying as a lesbian |trans-title= |last=Gomez |first=Patrick |work=Entertainment Weekly |date=5 June 2019 |access-date=27 May 2020 |url= https://ew.com/celebrity/paul-lynde-life-legacy/ }}</ref>

*American musician and comedian [[Maxine Feldman|Maxine "Max" Feldman]] (1945-2007) was a transgender butch lesbian and his/her gender identity was described by his/her partner as "both/and".<ref name="Kiritsy">{{cite news|last=Kiritsy|first=Laura|title=Lesbian trail blazer Maxine Feldman dies|url=http://www.edgeprovidence.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=news&sc3=&id=36268|newspaper=Edge Providence|date=August 30, 2007}}</ref>

* American activist and actor [[Ianne Fields Stewart]], a [[transfeminine]] [[nonbinary woman]] and lesbian<ref name="SwiftMar2020">{{Cite web |title=Meet Ianne Fields Stewart: The Activist and Actress Who Is Combatting Food Insecurity In The Black Transgender Community |author=Swift, Jaimee A. |work=Black Women Radicals |date=March 2, 2020 |access-date=November 3, 2020 |url= https://www.blackwomenradicals.com/blog-feed/meet-ianne-fields-stewart-the-activist-and-actress-who-is-combating-food-insecurity-in-the-black-transgender-community}}</ref><ref name="MastersAug2020">{{Cite web |title=This Activist Ensures Black Trans People Don't Go Hungry |last=Masters |first=Jeffrey |work=The Advocate |date=August 4, 2020 |access-date=November 3, 2020 |url= https://www.advocate.com/transgender/2020/7/31/ianne-fields-stewart-okra-project-trans |quote=I am a Black, queer, nonbinary, lesbian woman. }}</ref>

Some nblw prefer the term ''nonbinary lesbian'' to describe their attraction to women because it's easier, since ''lesbian'' is better known than ''trixic'' or ''orbisian,'' and some people can relate more to this term.

Sapphic generally stands for feminine-aligned people being attracted to other feminine-aligned people and women.<ref>https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Sapphic</ref> It is an umbrella term for bisexual female-aligned people, lesbians, and any other people who consider themselves wlw (women who love women). Nonbinary people may consider themselves sapphic if they are partly female, sometimes female, [[Gender alignment|female-aligned]], or [[Galactian system|lunarian]].

In the English-speaking world, most people know about three orientations that are usually attracted to men: bisexuals, [[Romantic and sexual orientation#Heterosexuality|heterosexual women]], and [[Romantic and sexual orientation#Homosexuality|homosexual men]] ([[Romantic and sexual orientation#Gay men|gay men]]). Some other identity labels have been proposed in order to have a way to say that one is usually attracted to men, without labeling one's own gender identity: androphilia, marsic, mascic, and uranic. Some identity labels have been proposed specifically for nonbinary people who are usually attracted to men: nonbinary people loving men (NBLM), azurian, quadrisian/toric, thistlian, and viramoric.  

[[File:Achillean 2.png|thumb|A commonly-used flag for achillean pride. The green carnation historically indicated gayness.]]

An umbrella term for any male, male-aligned, or partially-male people who feel attraction to men (e.g. gay men, bisexual/pansexual men, gay asexual men, etc.) In short, anyone who considers themself a MLM (man who loves men) can identify as achillean.<ref>https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Achillean-638170749</ref> The term is derived from the mythical character Achilles.<ref name="en.w_Achi">{{Cite web |title=Achillean - Wiktionary |author= |work=en.wiktionary.org |date= |access-date=8 September 2020 |url= https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Achillean |quote=4. Of or relating to sexual or romantic intimacy between men, in the style of Achilles' relationship with Patroclus. }}</ref> Nonbinary people may consider themselves achillean if they are partly male, sometimes male, [[Gender alignment|male-aligned]], or [[Galactian system|solarian]].

===Gay men===

People who identify as gay men have a male gender identity, and are attracted only to men. This word is applicable regardless of whether one or both people involved are cisgender men or transgender men. Some nonbinary people also identify as men to some degree ([[nonbinary man|nonbinary men]]), and also usually experience attraction to men, and so they consider themselves gay.

Overall, most gay men have used the rainbow pride flag to represent themselves, but since it can also represent the whole LGBTQ community, several proposals for a gay-man-specific pride flag have been made, many with explicit inclusion of nonbinary gay men. It is impractical to include all the proposed flags here, so the gallery below is only a selection of those which gained some popularity and have been stated to incude nonbinary men.

"Omnistraight" (likely coined to mirror [[Romantic and sexual orientation#Omnigay|omnigay]]) is a term which can be used by individuals with [[genderfluid|fluid gender]] who experience fluid attraction as well, such that they are always attracted to a gender different than their own current gender.<ref name="wren-omnistraight">{{Cite web |title=Omnistraight has quickly become one of my main identities, but there’s no actual flag for it, so I designed one myself! |author=wren |work=pride for all! |date=30 March 2020 |access-date=29 September 2020 |url= https://enb-ab-y.tumblr.com/post/614023456214974464/omnistraight-has-quickly-become-one-of-my-main}}</ref><ref>https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Omnistraight</ref>

Also called being gay, homosexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexual attraction only to people of the same [[gender]] as one's self.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality</ref> All homosexual people can also call themselves gay. Nonbinary people who are mainly attracted to other nonbinary people can call themselves homosexual, gay, or [[#NBLNB|NBLNB]] (nonbinary loving nonbinary).  

Nonbinary people who also identify as men or women to some degree, and are mainly attracted to the same, may also call themselves homosexual, gay, and/or lesbian.  

The term "gai" is for nonbinary people who feel their attraction is gay but in a nonbinary way. Being gai does not require attraction to only one gender or attraction to the same gender.<ref>[https://gai-strayt-alliance.tumblr.com/post/175212373813/what-do-the-terms-gai-and-strayt-mean What *do* the terms gai and strayt mean?], 24 June 2018</ref>

===Gay===

[[File:Nonbinary gay by thepokedexisgay.png|thumb|right|A nonbinary gay pride flag designed in 2018 by Alois (tumblr url thepokedexisgay)]]

Although gay is a synonym for homosexual, some people prefer the word gay over the word homosexual for themselves. A gay person can be any gender. There are gay men, gay women, and gay nonbinary people.<ref name="Cavar">{{Cite web |title=I Call Myself Nonbinary...And Gay |last=Cavar |first=Sarah |work=The Odyssey Online |date=2 October 2016 |access-date=23 November 2020 |url= https://www.theodysseyonline.com/call-nonbinaryand-gay }}</ref> Additionally, "gay" is sometimes used as a broad umbrella term for all non-[[cis]]-[[Heterosexuality|hetero]] people.

American musician [[King Princess]] describes herself as a both a [[genderqueer]] person and gay [[woman]].<ref name="Menuez">{{Cite web |title=King Princess |last=Menuez |first=Bobbi |work=theingenuemagazine.com |date= |access-date=6 May 2020 |url= https://theingenuemagazine.com/king-princess/}}</ref>

===Omnigay===

"Omnigay" is a term which can be used by individuals with [[genderfluid|fluid gender]] who experience fluid attraction as well, "so that the individual is always attracted to [their] same gender."<ref>[https://xeno-aligned.tumblr.com/post/618510739577126913/is-there-a-genderorientation-word-for-when-your anonymous asked: is there a gender/orientation word for when your attraction changes with your gender?], 18 May 2020</ref> Omnigay was coined in 2014 by tumblr user monetarymollusk.<ref>[https://monetarymollusk.tumblr.com/post/78213960554/in-response-to-an-earlier-post-i-tagged-as In response to an earlier post I tagged as 'OMNIGAY' I would like to inform u what omnigay means.], 1 March 2014</ref> In 2017, tumblr user shadowofthedude coined a synonym "omnique" (pronounced om-NEEK) which can also be used as a noun (ex: "I'm an omnique.") "Omnique" is formed by combining "omnigay" and "[[queer]]".<ref>[https://ask-pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/161192069014/ahh-hello-i-have-a-few-terms-genders-ive Ahh hello, I have a few terms (genders) I’ve coined that I also have flag designs for], 29 May 2017</ref>

Pansexuality is a sexual orientation that involves sexual attraction to people of all genders.<ref name="Webb">{{Cite web |title=5 things you should know on Pansexual Visibility Day |last=Webb |first=Laurence |work=LGBT Foundation |date=May 21, 2018 |access-date=November 26, 2019 |url= https://lgbt.foundation/news/5-things-you-should-know-on-pansexual-visibility-day/161}}</ref><ref>[https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Human Rights Campaign: Glossary of Terms]</ref> Pansexuals are attracted to all types of people. They might be "gender-blind" (meaning that gender is insignificant or irrelevant in determining their attraction), or they might not.<ref>{{cite web|url=https://posi-pan.tumblr.com/post/175752109717/whats-the-difference-between-pan-and-omni|title=ANONYMOUS ASKED:  What's the difference between pan and omni?|date= 10 July 2018}}</ref> Some people prefer to call themselves 'pansexual' rather than bisexual because they feel the word "bisexual" has [[Gender binary|binary]] implications.<ref>https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/pansexual</ref><ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality</ref>

Orientations tend to be named and categorized in a way that involves one's own gender identity. For example, "lesbian" indicates not only that one is attracted to women, but also that one identifies as a woman. Some words for sexual orientations make reference to one's own gender: heterosexuality and homosexuality, gay and lesbian.

Umbrella term for any man or masculine-aligned person who is attracted to nonbinary people, including but not limited to: gay men, bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals, etc.<ref>[https://polyamaesthetic.tumblr.com/post/187519089415/astroidian-panromantic-sunrises-requested-by astroidian panromantic + sunrises], 15 September 2019</ref> An alternative term for this is Adonic.<ref name="nbandproud2018" /><ref>https://www.quotev.com/story/10279601/Explaining-Orientations/70</ref>

Ceterosexuality, formerly skoliosexuality, means a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexual attraction to nonbinary people, and perhaps other kinds of transgender people as well. <ref>{{cite web|first=Jack|last= Molay|title=Transgender, Genderqueer and Transsexual Glossary|date=25 January 2010| url=http://www.crossdreamers.com/2010/01/transgender-and-transsexual-glossary.html}}</ref> Some believe the term is only to be used by nonbinary people, though it was coined in the context of binary people's attraction to nonbinary people.<ref name="Nelde">[https://www.deviantart.com/nelde/art/Sexual-Attraction-v2-180255547 Sexual Attraction v2], Sep 23, 2010</ref> Non-binary people who are attracted to other non-binary people may also use the terms homosexual, homoromantic, gay, NBLNB, etc.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person usually does not feel sexual attraction to anyone.<ref name="Sex and society">{{cite book|editor=Marshall Cavendish|title=Sex and Society|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=aVDZchwkIMEC&pg=PA82|accessdate=July 27, 2013|volume=2|year=2010|publisher=Marshall Cavendish|isbn=978-0-7614-7906-2|pages=82–83|contribution=Asexuality}}</ref><ref name="Bogaert 2015">{{cite journal|vauthors=Bogaert, AF|s2cid= 23720993 |title= Asexuality: What It Is and Why It Matters |journal=The Journal of Sex Research|volume= 52|date=April 2015 |pmid=25897566|doi=10.1080/00224499.2015.1015713|issue=4|pages=362–379}}</ref> They may have little or no interest in sexual activity.<ref name="Crooks">{{cite book|author1=Robert L. Crooks |author2=Karla Baur|title=Our Sexuality|isbn=978-1305887428|publisher=Cengage Learning|year=2016|page=300|accessdate=January 4, 2017|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=isIaCgAAQBAJ&pg=PT300}}</ref><ref name="Helm">{{cite book|author=Katherine M. Helm|title=Hooking Up: The Psychology of Sex and Dating|isbn=978-1610699518|publisher=ABC-CLIO|year=2015|page=32|accessdate=January 4, 2017|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=O3K9CgAAQBAJ&pg=PA32}}</ref><ref name="Kelly">{{cite book|last = Kelly| first = Gary F.|title = Sexuality Today: The Human Perspective|edition=7|year = 2004| publisher = McGraw-Hill |isbn= 978-0-07-255835-7|page = 401|chapter  = Chapter 12 |postscript = Asexuality is a condition characterized by a low interest in sex.}}</ref> This is an enduring characteristic.<ref name="apahelp">{{cite web|title=Sexual orientation, homosexuality and bisexuality|publisher=American Psychological Association|accessdate=March 30, 2013|url=http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/sexual-orientation.aspx}}</ref> Asexuality is not the same as celibacy, in which a person may feel sexual attraction, but intentionally chooses not to have sex, because asexuals do not desire sex in the first place.<ref name="Halter">{{cite book|author=Margaret Jordan Halter |author2=Elizabeth M. Varcarolis|title=Varcarolis' Foundations of Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing|isbn=978-1-4557-5358-1|publisher=Elsevier Health Sciences|year=2013|page=382|accessdate=May 7, 2014|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=mZ15AAAAQBAJ&pg=PA382#v=onepage}}</ref><ref name="DePaulo">{{cite journal|first=Bella|last=DePaulo|title=ASEXUALS: Who Are They and Why Are They Important?|journal=Psychology Today|date=September 26, 2011|accessdate=December 13, 2011|url=http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/200912/asexuals-who-are-they-and-why-are-they-important}}</ref>  Asexuality sometimes means aromanticism, too, so a person does not feel sexual or romantic attraction. In other cases, people use asexuality to mean something distinct from aromanticism, to say that they feel romantic attraction, but not sexual attraction.<ref name="Richards and Barker">{{cite book|author=Christina Richards |author2=Meg Barker|title=Sexuality and Gender for Mental Health Professionals: A Practical Guide|isbn=978-1-4462-9313-3|publisher=Sage Publications|year=2013|pages=124–127|accessdate=July 3, 2014|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=uSiXAgAAQBAJ&pg=PT124}}</ref> Some asexual people enjoy taking part in sexual and/or romantic relationships, even though they do not feel an instinctive need to do so.<ref name="Prause">{{cite journal|last=Prause |first=Nicole |author2=Cynthia A. Graham |s2cid=12034925 |date=August 2004 |url=http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/publications/PDF/PrauseGrahamPDF.pdf |title=Asexuality: Classification and Characterization |journal=Archives of Sexual Behavior |volume=36 |pages=341–356 |accessdate=August 31, 2007 |doi=10.1007/s10508-006-9142-3 |pmid=17345167 |issue=3 |archiveurl=https://web.archive.org/web/20070927014407/http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/publications/PDF/PrauseGrahamPDF.pdf |archivedate=September 27, 2007 |url-status=dead }}</ref> Many asexuals see asexuality as a queer identity, and under the umbrella of [[MOGII|marginalized orientations, gender identities, and intersex (MOGII)]], because they experience discrimination for their orientation, like lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. Asexuality is also an umbrella term, which can include other kinds of sexual orientations in the asexual spectrum, such as aromanticism, and gray-asexuality (''partly'' lacking sexual attraction).<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Scherrer|first=Kristin|title=Coming to an Asexual Identity: Negotiating Identity, Negotiating Desire|journal=Sexualities|volume=11|issue=5|pages=621–641|doi=10.1177/1363460708094269|pmid=20593009|pmc=2893352|year=2008}}</ref><ref>Jillian Cottle, "Hallelujah, it's raining labels." [http://jilliancottle.com/hallelujah-its-raining-labels]</ref>