Intimacy: Difference between revisions
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== | This page will contain information and links about navigating acts of sexual intimacy as a nonbinary person, or as the partner of a nonbinary person. | ||
*[https://www.wellandgood.com/trans-nonbinary-sex/ | |||
==Tips== | |||
*Though certain sexual acts may be traditionally associated with a binary gender, or with [[femininity]]/[[masculinity]], this is not inherent. | |||
*Communication before, during, and after sex is vital. For example: | |||
** Make it clear what acts you are comfortable with, and which ones you do not want to do. Consider working on a "Yes/No/Maybe" list for yourself and your partner(s). | |||
** Let your partner(s) know if there are certain words (for anatomical parts, terms of endearment, etc) that you want them to use or avoid. | |||
** Let your partner(s) know if there is an area of your body you do not want touched, due to [[dysphoria]] or any other reason. | |||
** Let your partner(s) know if you need to stop, take a pause, or change activities during the encounter for any reason. | |||
* Orgasming is good, but not required for sex to be satisfying. Depending on [[Hormone therapy|hormonal levels]], dysphoria, or other reasons, orgasm may be very difficult or impossible for someone to achieve. | |||
* Penetration is also not required for sex (and may be difficult or impossible for the same reasons as listed in previous point). | |||
* Consider if you need to use safer sex tools (internal condom, external condom, dental dam, etc) for birth control and/or preventing infection transmission. Keep in mind that [[hormone therapy]] does not fully prevent fertility. | |||
==Resources== | |||
*[https://www.wellandgood.com/trans-nonbinary-sex/ I'm Trans and Nonbinary: Here's What I Want Cis People To Know About Having Sex With Me], by Jamie LeClaire | |||
*[https://www.women.com/shannon/lists/what-is-sex-like-with-a-non-binary-person-agender-trans-and-sex What Is Sex Like With A Non Binary Person?], by Shannon Cabeen | |||
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20160311020633/https://mickeyvalentinetee.com/2016/03/03/how-to-have-sex-with-a-transnb-person-without-being-gross/ How to Have Sex with a Trans/NB Person Without Being Gross], by Mickey Valentine | |||
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20201014174519/https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/sex-with-the-non-binary-person-even-when-that-person-is-you-maya/ Having Sex with A Non-Binary Person, Even When That Person is You], by Maya Gittelman | |||
*[https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/yes_no_maybe_so_a_sexual_inventory_stocklist Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist], by Heather Corinna and CJ Turett | |||
*[https://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships_sexual_identity_sexuality/well_fck_me_its_a_scarleteen_zine_0 F*ck Me!], a free zine/booklet that you can fill out with your intimate preferences/needs and share with partners | |||
*[http://fuckingtranswomen.org/ Fucking Trans Women], an 80 page zine with practical advice for sex by and with transfeminine people. | |||
*{{cite book|title=Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure and Relationships|last=Roche|first=Juno|authorlink=Juno Roche|date=2018|publisher=Jessica Kingsley Publishers}} | |||
*[https://everydayfeminism.com/2014/12/8-tips-on-respectfully-talking-pleasure-sex-and-bodies-with-your-trans-lover/ 8 Tips on Respectfully Talking Pleasure, Sex, and Bodies With Your Trans Lover], by Sam Dylan Finch | |||
[[Category: Practical resources]] | [[Category: Practical resources]] | ||
Latest revision as of 16:23, 24 December 2024
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This page will contain information and links about navigating acts of sexual intimacy as a nonbinary person, or as the partner of a nonbinary person.
Tips[edit | edit source]
- Though certain sexual acts may be traditionally associated with a binary gender, or with femininity/masculinity, this is not inherent.
- Communication before, during, and after sex is vital. For example:
- Make it clear what acts you are comfortable with, and which ones you do not want to do. Consider working on a "Yes/No/Maybe" list for yourself and your partner(s).
- Let your partner(s) know if there are certain words (for anatomical parts, terms of endearment, etc) that you want them to use or avoid.
- Let your partner(s) know if there is an area of your body you do not want touched, due to dysphoria or any other reason.
- Let your partner(s) know if you need to stop, take a pause, or change activities during the encounter for any reason.
- Orgasming is good, but not required for sex to be satisfying. Depending on hormonal levels, dysphoria, or other reasons, orgasm may be very difficult or impossible for someone to achieve.
- Penetration is also not required for sex (and may be difficult or impossible for the same reasons as listed in previous point).
- Consider if you need to use safer sex tools (internal condom, external condom, dental dam, etc) for birth control and/or preventing infection transmission. Keep in mind that hormone therapy does not fully prevent fertility.
Resources[edit | edit source]
- I'm Trans and Nonbinary: Here's What I Want Cis People To Know About Having Sex With Me, by Jamie LeClaire
- What Is Sex Like With A Non Binary Person?, by Shannon Cabeen
- How to Have Sex with a Trans/NB Person Without Being Gross, by Mickey Valentine
- Having Sex with A Non-Binary Person, Even When That Person is You, by Maya Gittelman
- Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist, by Heather Corinna and CJ Turett
- F*ck Me!, a free zine/booklet that you can fill out with your intimate preferences/needs and share with partners
- Fucking Trans Women, an 80 page zine with practical advice for sex by and with transfeminine people.
- Roche, Juno (2018). Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure and Relationships. Jessica Kingsley Publishers. CS1 maint: discouraged parameter (link)
- 8 Tips on Respectfully Talking Pleasure, Sex, and Bodies With Your Trans Lover, by Sam Dylan Finch