Sinclair Sexsmith

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Sinclair Sexsmith is a writer and performer. They identify as a "White non-binary butch feminist dominant". Their website, Sugarbutch, which they started in 2006, "contains explicit writings on kink practices, dominant/submissive relationships, and queer kink erotica (among other things)." ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. Sexsmith uses singular they and the prefix Mx.

Quotes

"I am ever aware of the heteronormativity and cissexism in the BDSM worlds, and I think queers are doing amazing things to call attention to, work on, and transform what it means to explore gender, or explore power dynamics."

"Dear cis people who put your pronouns on your “hello my name is” name tags: Thank you. When you do that, I feel more comfortable putting my pronouns — they/them. I feel more comfortable being visibly out as nonbinary. I feel more comfortable asking people to use the pronouns that feel most like me, that make me feel most seen and whole, instead of just resolving to be mis-gendered and mis-represented and whatever who cares anyway."

"It's been a long, slow road to this version of me. It's taken a long time and a LOT of experiments, a lot of wardrobe changes, a lot of trial and error. And I'm still changing all the time, still seeking ways to become the most 'me' I can be. I had really excellent teachers who inspired me while I was coming out and coming into butchness and queerness, which really helped. I have very supportive parents and siblings, and I've always been very stubborn about doing my own thing and expressing my own way, since I was young. I've leaned on the many communities I've been a part of, and have felt so supported and lifted up by the generosity — I've learned so much by being part of communities and groups."