Femme: Difference between revisions

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    [[File:Butch Femme Society by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|The Butch/Femme Society marching at NYC Gay Pride Parade 2007.]]
    [[File:Butch Femme Society by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|The Butch/Femme Society marching at NYC Gay Pride Parade 2007.]]
    '''Femme''' is a term that refers to a queer person whose [[gender expression]] is considered to be [[feminine]]. It was originally used to distinguish feminine [[lesbian]] and [[bisexual]] women from [[butch]] women, and it is still one of the main uses of the term. It is common for trans and nonbinary individuals to use the term to refer to their identity or expression even if they do not identify as lesbian or bisexual women.<ref name="Tonic">{{Cite web |title=What Does Femme Mean? The Difference Between Being Femme & Being Feminine |last=Tonic |first=Gina |work=Bustle |date=24 August 2016 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= https://www.bustle.com/articles/166081-what-does-femme-mean-the-difference-between-being-femme-being-feminine}}</ref> However, this last usage is has been gatekept by the lesbian community.<ref name=":0">[http://lesbiansovereverything.com/on-the-appropriation-of-femme/ On the appropriation of femme] on Lesbians over everything (lesbiansovereverything.com)</ref> A common definition of femme is someone who queers or subverts femininity, as opposed to a butch person, who rejects femininity. <ref name="Shewan">{{Cite web |title=Are you Femme? What Femme Isn’t and What it is. |last=Shewan |first=Briana |work=affirmativecouch.com |date=15 February 2019 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= https://affirmativecouch.com/are-you-femme-what-femme-isnt-and-what-it-is/ |quote=Femmes may have any gender identity; some consider femme their gender identity, whileother femmes may have a different gender identity (such as transwoman, nonbinary, cis-woman, [[genderfluid]], [[agender]], etc.) and consider femme their gender expression}}</ref> Femme is also sometimes used as a gender in itself.<ref>{{cite web|title=Ain't No Girl…Femme! Queer Femme Identity and Art Making (master's thesis)|date=2016|first=Elyse|last=Schauer |url =https://www.academia.edu/28231820/Aint_No_Girl_Femme_Queer_Femme_Identity_and_Art_Making_Masters_Thesis_|quote=Although some may be aware of the terms ''butch'' and ''femme'', as applied to lesbian women, there is little awareness of femme outside of a lesbian context.  Femme can actually indicate a gender that is altogether separate from ''woman'', and people across gender presentations and sexualities may embrace femme in a queer context.}}</ref>
    '''Femme''' is a term that refers to a queer person whose [[gender expression]] is considered to be [[feminine]]. It was originally used to distinguish feminine [[lesbian]] and [[bisexual]] women from [[butch]] women, and it is still one of the main uses of the term. It is common for trans and nonbinary individuals to use the term to refer to their identity or expression even if they do not identify as lesbian or bisexual women.<ref name="Tonic">{{Cite web |title=What Does Femme Mean? The Difference Between Being Femme & Being Feminine |last=Tonic |first=Gina |work=Bustle |date=24 August 2016 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= https://www.bustle.com/articles/166081-what-does-femme-mean-the-difference-between-being-femme-being-feminine|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230228035419/https://www.bustle.com/articles/166081-what-does-femme-mean-the-difference-between-being-femme-being-feminine |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref> However, this last usage is has been gatekept by trans-exclusionary members of the lesbian community.<ref name=":0">[http://lesbiansovereverything.com/on-the-appropriation-of-femme/ On the appropriation of femme] on Lesbians over everything (lesbiansovereverything.com) [https://web.archive.org/web/20230528162625/https://lesbiansovereverything.com/on-the-appropriation-of-femme/ Archived] on 17 July 2023</ref> A common definition of femme is someone who queers or subverts femininity, as opposed to a butch person, who rejects femininity.<ref name="Shewan">{{Cite web |title=Are you Femme? What Femme Isn’t and What it is. |last=Shewan |first=Briana |work=affirmativecouch.com |date=15 February 2019 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= https://affirmativecouch.com/are-you-femme-what-femme-isnt-and-what-it-is/ |quote=Femmes may have any gender identity; some consider femme their gender identity, whileother femmes may have a different gender identity (such as transwoman, nonbinary, cis-woman, [[genderfluid]], [[agender]], etc.) and consider femme their gender expression|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230517180543/https://affirmativecouch.com/are-you-femme-what-femme-isnt-and-what-it-is/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref> Femme is also sometimes used as a gender in itself.<ref>{{cite web|title=Ain't No Girl…Femme! Queer Femme Identity and Art Making (master's thesis)|date=2016|first=Elyse|last=Schauer |url =https://www.academia.edu/28231820/Aint_No_Girl_Femme_Queer_Femme_Identity_and_Art_Making_Masters_Thesis_|quote=Although some may be aware of the terms ''butch'' and ''femme'', as applied to lesbian women, there is little awareness of femme outside of a lesbian context.  Femme can actually indicate a gender that is altogether separate from ''woman'', and people across gender presentations and sexualities may embrace femme in a queer context.}}</ref>


    International Femme Appreciation Day is celebrated on the first Saturday of July.<ref name="Lapachet">{{Cite web |title=International Femme Appreciation Day |last=Lapachet |first=María |work=A Femme in NYC |date=3 July 2014 |access-date=22 June 2020 |url= https://afemmeinnyc.wordpress.com/2014/07/03/international-femme-appreciation-day-2/}}</ref><ref name="QE">{{Cite web |title=Lesbian Culture & Visibility |author= |work=QueerEvents.ca |date= |access-date=22 June 2020 |url= https://queerevents.ca/queer-culture/lesbian-visibility}}</ref>
    International Femme Appreciation Day is celebrated on the first Saturday of July.<ref name="Lapachet">{{Cite web |title=International Femme Appreciation Day |last=Lapachet |first=María |work=A Femme in NYC |date=3 July 2014 |access-date=22 June 2020 |url= https://afemmeinnyc.wordpress.com/2014/07/03/international-femme-appreciation-day-2/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20221203145047/https://afemmeinnyc.wordpress.com/2014/07/03/international-femme-appreciation-day-2/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref><ref name="QE">{{Cite web |title=Lesbian Culture & Visibility |author= |work=QueerEvents.ca |date= |access-date=22 June 2020 |url= https://queerevents.ca/queer-culture/lesbian-visibility|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230325181554/https://queerevents.ca/queer-culture/lesbian-visibility|archive-date=17 July 2023}}</ref>


    == Usage ==
    == Usage ==
    Some argue that the word ''femme'' can only be used to describe people in the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and it can be a synonym of the expression ''lipstick lesbian'' in some cases. That means that [[cisgender]] straight women should not use the term to describe themselves, as it would be considered appropriation.<ref group="note">Note that, in French, ''femme'' means ''woman.'' This article is about the English usage of this word.</ref> Because there are many stereotypes surrounding femininity, the term ''femme'' is often used to subvert cultural expectations about how a woman should look like. For this reason, many (but not all) people that identify as ''femme'' do not try to adhere to these stereotypes.<ref name="Tonic" /> This is similar to how the word ''queer'' was reclaimed by the LGBTQ community.
    Some argue that the word ''femme''<ref group="note"> Note that, in French, ''femme'' means ''woman''. The pronunciation is also different ([fam] in French, [fɛm] in English). This article is about the English usage of this word.</ref> can only be used to describe people in the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and it can be a synonym of the expression ''lipstick lesbian'' in some cases. Because there are many stereotypes surrounding femininity, the term ''femme'' is often used to subvert cultural expectations about how a woman should look like. For this reason, many (but not all) people that identify as ''femme'' do not try to adhere to these stereotypes.<ref name="Tonic" /> This is similar to how the word ''queer'' was reclaimed by the LGBTQ community.


    Femme has been used for women as well as men<ref name="LOTB">{{Cite web |title=Glossary |author= |work=Life Outside The Binary: Nonbinary Transgender Information Centre |date= |access-date=11 November 2020 |url= https://lifeoutsidethebinary.com/glossary}}</ref><ref name="michelson">{{Cite web |title=This Is What Femme Looks Like |last=Michelson |first=Noah |work=HuffPost |date= |access-date=7 November 2020 |url= https://www.huffpost.com/entry/whatfemmelookslike_n_5890738}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|title=What Feminists Can Learn From The Lesbian Sex Radicals|last=Nichols|first=Margaret|journal=Conditions|date=1987|issue=14|page=161|quote=For some women, gender is less important than s/m identity; for others it is less important than some other aspect of personality. Still others are attracted only to butches or only to femmes—but they can be male or female butches or male or female femmes.|url=https://voices.revealdigital.org/cgi-bin/independentvoices?a=d&d=DCDCDIG19870101&e=-------en-20--1--txt-txIN---------------1}}</ref>, and also for people outside of the gender binary.<ref name="Shewan" /><ref name="Bashan">{{Cite web |title=What Does It Mean To Be Femme? |author=Bashan, Frankie |work=Little Gay Book |date=7 September 2020 |access-date=29 September 2020 |url= https://www.littlegaybook.com/what-it-means-to-be-femme/}}</ref><ref>[https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FemmesCanBeThems&src=typed_query&f=live Twitter hashtag #FemmesCanBeThems]</ref> Nonbinary femmes struggle against the misconception that nonbinary people must have an [[Androgyny|androgynous]] expression, since their own expression is feminine.<ref name="smith">{{Cite web |title=Beyond the binary: Yes, nonbinary femmes exist |last=smith |first=s.e. |work=this ain't livin' |date=27 April 2015 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= http://meloukhia.net/2015/04/beyond_the_binary_yes_nonbinary_femmes_exist/ }}</ref>
    Femme has been used for women as well as men<ref name="LOTB">{{Cite web |title=Glossary |author= |work=Life Outside The Binary: Nonbinary Transgender Information Centre |date= |access-date=11 November 2020 |url= https://lifeoutsidethebinary.com/glossary|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230513043619/http://lifeoutsidethebinary.com/glossary|archive-date=17 July 2023}}</ref><ref name="michelson">{{Cite web |title=This Is What Femme Looks Like |last=Michelson |first=Noah |work=HuffPost |date=2 February 2016 |access-date=7 November 2020 |url= https://www.huffpost.com/entry/whatfemmelookslike_n_5890738|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230710125610/https://www.huffpost.com/entry/whatfemmelookslike_n_5890738 |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|title=What Feminists Can Learn From The Lesbian Sex Radicals|last=Nichols|first=Margaret|journal=Conditions|date=1987|issue=14|page=161|quote=For some women, gender is less important than s/m identity; for others it is less important than some other aspect of personality. Still others are attracted only to butches or only to femmes—but they can be male or female butches or male or female femmes.|url=https://voices.revealdigital.org/cgi-bin/independentvoices?a=d&d=DCDCDIG19870101&e=-------en-20--1--txt-txIN---------------1|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230806031242/https://www.jstor.org/site/reveal-digital/independent-voices/|archive-date=6 August 2023|access-date=7 November 2020|url-status=bot: unknown}}</ref><ref name="Roseninterview">{{Cite web |title=‘I wanted to capture this idea that femme men are considered less than by the queer community’: TQ talks to Lev A.C. Rosen |author= |work=The Queerness |date=3 August 2020 |access-date=26 March 2021 |url= https://thequeerness.com/2020/08/03/i-wanted-to-capture-this-idea-that-femme-men-are-considered-less-than-by-the-queer-community-tq-talks-to-lev-a-c-rosen/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230529181828/https://thequeerness.com/2020/08/03/i-wanted-to-capture-this-idea-that-femme-men-are-considered-less-than-by-the-queer-community-tq-talks-to-lev-a-c-rosen/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>, and also for people outside of the gender binary.<ref name="Shewan" /><ref name="Bashan">{{Cite web |title=What Does It Mean To Be Femme? |author=Bashan, Frankie |work=Little Gay Book |date=7 September 2020 |access-date=29 September 2020 |url= https://www.littlegaybook.com/what-it-means-to-be-femme/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230331030230/https://littlegaybook.com/what-it-means-to-be-femme/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref><ref>[https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FemmesCanBeThems&src=typed_query&f=live Twitter hashtag #FemmesCanBeThems]</ref> Nonbinary femmes struggle against the misconception that nonbinary people must have an [[Androgyny|androgynous]] expression, since their own expression is feminine.<ref name="smith">{{Cite web |title=Beyond the binary: Yes, nonbinary femmes exist |last=smith |first=s.e. |work=this ain't livin' |date=27 April 2015 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= http://meloukhia.net/2015/04/beyond_the_binary_yes_nonbinary_femmes_exist/ |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230601181742/http://meloukhia.net/2015/04/beyond_the_binary_yes_nonbinary_femmes_exist/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>


    Some people claim that in the same way that nobody uses the words ''bear'' or ''twink'' unless they are gay men, nobody should use words such as ''femme'' or ''butch'' unless they are women. Therefore, they consider it appropriation.<ref name=":0" />
    Some people claim that in the same way that nobody uses the words ''bear'' or ''twink'' unless they are gay men, nobody should use words such as ''femme'' or ''butch'' unless they are women. Therefore, they consider it appropriation.<ref name=":0" />


    ==Flags==
    ==Flags==
    There is no universally-accepted flag for the femme identity, but several have been proposed. Below are some of them.
    There is no universally-accepted flag for the femme identity, but several have been proposed. Below are some of them.  
    <gallery>
    <gallery>
    File:Femme flag by disasterbisexual.png|Created by tumblr user disasterbisexual.
    File:Femme flag by disasterbisexual.png|Created by tumblr user disasterbisexual.
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    File:Femme flag - Rebecca Bettencourt.jpg|Created by Rebecca Bettencourt.
    File:Femme flag - Rebecca Bettencourt.jpg|Created by Rebecca Bettencourt.
    File:Femme by nbgender.png|Created by James/Ocean (tumblr user nbgender).
    File:Femme by nbgender.png|Created by James/Ocean (tumblr user nbgender).
    File:Femme by sweetjinxii.png|By tumblr user sweetjinxii.
    File:Femme by sweetjinxii.png|Created by tumblr user sweetjinxii.
    File:Femme by ShippyGoodness.png|Created by reddit user ShippyGoodness.
    File:Femme by kenochoric.png|Created by tumblr user kenochoric, who nicknamed it the "sea femme" flag.
    </gallery>
    </gallery>


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    [[File:Kate Bornstein2010.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Kate Bornstein]], a nonbinary femme-identified trans person.]]
    [[File:Kate Bornstein2010.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Kate Bornstein]], a nonbinary femme-identified trans person.]]
    [[File:Nikkita Oliver 03 (cropped).jpg|thumb|200px|[[Nikkita Oliver]], a genderfluid femme person.]]


    There are many more [[notable nonbinary people|notable people who have a gender identity outside of the binary]]. The following are only some of those notable people who specifically describe their own identity by the name "femme," "fem," or a close analog to it, and who do not identify as just men or women.  
    There are many more [[notable nonbinary people|notable people who have a gender identity outside of the binary]]. The following are only some of those notable people who specifically describe their own identity by the name "femme," "fem," or a close analog to it, and who do not identify as just men or women.  


    * [[Dev Blair]] is a multimedia artist who is a nonbinary femme.<ref>{{cite tweet|user=Dev_Blair|number=956701170503954432|title=Starting 2 prefer "they" pronouns because so many people wanna equate "she" pronouns w/ me being a woman n that's not really what I mean when I say non-binary femme-what I mean is my gender is neither male nor female but I do strongly align with femininity|date=25 January 2018}}</ref>
    * [[Dev Blair]] is a multimedia artist who is a nonbinary femme.<ref>{{cite tweet|user=Dev_Blair|number=956701170503954432|title=Starting 2 prefer "they" pronouns because so many people wanna equate "she" pronouns w/ me being a woman n that's not really what I mean when I say non-binary femme-what I mean is my gender is neither male nor female but I do strongly align with femininity|date=25 January 2018}}</ref>
    * [[Niecy Blues]] is an American musician who describes themself as an [[agender]] femme.<ref name="Oyer">{{Cite web |title=SC women, nonbinary guitarists participate in She Shreds Media riff a day challenge |last=Oyer |first=Kalyn |work=Post and Courier |date=January 28, 2021 |access-date=January 30, 2021 |url= https://www.postandcourier.com/charleston_scene/sc-women-nonbinary-guitarists-participate-in-she-shreds-media-riff-a-day-challenge/article_61a350ac-5aa2-11eb-99b5-2b69d9330965.html}}</ref>
    * [[Niecy Blues]] is an American musician who describes themself as an [[agender]] femme.<ref name="Oyer">{{Cite web |title=SC women, nonbinary guitarists participate in She Shreds Media riff a day challenge |last=Oyer |first=Kalyn |work=Post and Courier |date=January 28, 2021 |access-date=January 30, 2021 |url= https://www.postandcourier.com/charleston_scene/sc-women-nonbinary-guitarists-participate-in-she-shreds-media-riff-a-day-challenge/article_61a350ac-5aa2-11eb-99b5-2b69d9330965.html|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20211201075334/https://www.postandcourier.com/charleston_scene/sc-women-nonbinary-guitarists-participate-in-she-shreds-media-riff-a-day-challenge/article_61a350ac-5aa2-11eb-99b5-2b69d9330965.html |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>
    * [[Kate Bornstein]] (b. 1948) is an author, playwright, performance artist, and gender theorist. Bornstein is "a non-binary femme-identified trans person".<ref name="Raymond">{{Cite web |title=Interview: Kate Bornstein on Their Broadway Debut in Straight White Men |last=Raymond |first=Gerard |work=Slant Magazine |date=July 11, 2018 |access-date=May 16, 2020 |url= https://www.slantmagazine.com/interviews/pretty-damn-bowie-kate-bornstein-on-their-broadway-debut-in-straight-white-men/}}</ref>
    * [[Kate Bornstein]] (b. 1948) is an author, playwright, performance artist, and gender theorist. Bornstein is "a non-binary femme-identified trans person".<ref name="Raymond">{{Cite web |title=Interview: Kate Bornstein on Their Broadway Debut in Straight White Men |last=Raymond |first=Gerard |work=Slant Magazine |date=July 11, 2018 |access-date=May 16, 2020 |url= https://www.slantmagazine.com/interviews/pretty-damn-bowie-kate-bornstein-on-their-broadway-debut-in-straight-white-men/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230221230307/https://www.slantmagazine.com/interviews/pretty-damn-bowie-kate-bornstein-on-their-broadway-debut-in-straight-white-men/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>
    * [[Sand Chang|Sand C. Chang]], PhD., is a Chinese-American clinical psychologist and educator.<ref name="tran_Sand">{{Cite web |title=Sand Chang |author= |work=Trans Bodies, Trans Selves |date= |access-date=6 April 2020 |url= http://transbodies.com/people/sand-chang-2/}}</ref> Dr. Chang is one of the authors of ''A Clinician's Guide to Gender-Affirming Care: Working with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Clients''. They are [[nonbinary]], [[genderqueer]], [[genderfluid]], [[demiboy]],<ref name="yout_Ep69">{{Cite web |title=Ep 69 Dr. Sand Chang Licensed Psychologist Interview |last=Kramer |first=Kaiya |work=The Queer Life Radio |date=11 December 2015 |access-date=6 April 2020 |url= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtFtRleENew}}</ref> and femme.<ref name="Harrison">{{Cite web |title=Food Psych #150: Disordered Eating & Gender Identity with Sand Chang |first=Christy|last= Harrison |date=2 April 2018 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= https://christyharrison.com/foodpsych/5/eating-disorder-recovery-gender-identity-with-sand-chang}}</ref>
    * [[Sand Chang|Sand C. Chang]], PhD., is a Chinese-American clinical psychologist and educator.<ref name="tran_Sand">{{Cite web |title=Sand Chang |author= |work=Trans Bodies, Trans Selves |date= |access-date=6 April 2020 |url= http://transbodies.com/people/sand-chang-2/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230206021236/http://transbodies.com/people/sand-chang-2/|archive-date=17 July 2023}}</ref> Dr. Chang is one of the authors of ''A Clinician's Guide to Gender-Affirming Care: Working with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Clients''. They are [[nonbinary]], [[genderqueer]], [[genderfluid]], [[demiboy]],<ref name="yout_Ep69">{{Cite web |title=Ep 69 Dr. Sand Chang Licensed Psychologist Interview |last=Kramer |first=Kaiya |work=The Queer Life Radio |date=11 December 2015 |access-date=6 April 2020 |url= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtFtRleENew|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230419140750/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtFtRleENew |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref> and femme.<ref name="Harrison">{{Cite web |title=Food Psych #150: Disordered Eating & Gender Identity with Sand Chang |first=Christy|last= Harrison |date=2 April 2018 |access-date=28 April 2020 |url= https://christyharrison.com/foodpsych/5/eating-disorder-recovery-gender-identity-with-sand-chang|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20221224193138/https://christyharrison.com/foodpsych/5/eating-disorder-recovery-gender-identity-with-sand-chang |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>
    * [[Sharon daVanport]] is an activist who founded what is now the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (formerly Autism Women's Network<ref name="Ho">{{Cite web |title=Disability & Intersectionality Summit: Interview with Sharon daVanport |author=Ho, Sandy |work=Disability Visibility Project |date=7 May 2018 |access-date=28 May 2020 |url= https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2018/05/07/disability-intersectionality-summit-interview-with-sharon-davanport/}}</ref>). DaVanport is a nonbinary femme.<ref name="ECE">{{Cite web |title=PEOPLE: Why Sharon daVanport built a support network for autistic women and nonbinary people |author= |work=Echo Chamber Escape |date=May 26, 2020 |access-date=May 28, 2020 |url= https://echochamberescape.com/2020/05/26/people-why-sharon-davanport-built-a-support-network-for-autistic-women-and-nonbinary-people}}</ref>
    * [[Sharon daVanport]] is an activist who founded what is now the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (formerly Autism Women's Network<ref name="Ho">{{Cite web |title=Disability & Intersectionality Summit: Interview with Sharon daVanport |author=Ho, Sandy |work=Disability Visibility Project |date=7 May 2018 |access-date=28 May 2020 |url= https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2018/05/07/disability-intersectionality-summit-interview-with-sharon-davanport/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230325043621/https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2018/05/07/disability-intersectionality-summit-interview-with-sharon-davanport/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>). DaVanport is a nonbinary femme.<ref name="ECE">{{Cite web |title=PEOPLE: Why Sharon daVanport built a support network for autistic women and nonbinary people |author= |work=Echo Chamber Escape |date=May 26, 2020 |access-date=May 28, 2020 |url= https://echochamberescape.com/2020/05/26/people-why-sharon-davanport-built-a-support-network-for-autistic-women-and-nonbinary-people|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20221004135400/https://echochamberescape.com/2020/05/26/people-why-sharon-davanport-built-a-support-network-for-autistic-women-and-nonbinary-people/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>
    * [[Ericka Hart]] is a sexuality educator and activist. She is a Black [[queer]] nonbinary femme.<ref name="Finley">{{Cite web |title=Ericka Hart Is On A Journey To Dismantle Medical Racism |last=Finley |first=Taryn |work=HuffPost |date=February 8, 2019 |access-date=October 6, 2020 |url= https://www.huffpost.com/entry/hbm-ericka-hart_n_5c3f4ce4e4b0e0baf5436b3b}}</ref>
    * [[Ericka Hart]] is a sexuality educator and activist. She is a Black [[queer]] nonbinary femme.<ref name="Finley">{{Cite web |title=Ericka Hart Is On A Journey To Dismantle Medical Racism |last=Finley |first=Taryn |work=HuffPost |date=February 8, 2019 |access-date=October 6, 2020 |url= https://www.huffpost.com/entry/hbm-ericka-hart_n_5c3f4ce4e4b0e0baf5436b3b|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230128141920/https://www.huffpost.com/entry/hbm-ericka-hart_n_5c3f4ce4e4b0e0baf5436b3b |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>
    * [[Sassafras Lowrey]] is an author and journalist, known for hir  books about dogs.<ref name="Metraux">{{Cite web |title=How Sassafras Lowrey Made Writing About Dogs a Career |last=Métraux |first=Julia |work=Narratively |date=6 March 2020 |access-date=8 May 2020 |url= https://narratively.com/how-sassafras-lowrey-made-writing-about-dogs-a-career/}}</ref> Lowrey is [[genderqueer]], [[trans]], femme, queer, polyamorous, and [[asexual]].<ref>{{cite tweet|user= sassafraslowrey|number= 1182723625448685568|date=11 October 2019|title=and to have made a core aspect of my career around writing the queerest books and stories I can imagine. Happy #NationalComingOutDay Queerly yours a: #runaway, formerly #homeless, #genderqueer, #trans, #femme, #queer, #polyamorous, #asexual, #little, #leather boy}}</ref>
    * [[Sassafras Lowrey]] is an author and journalist, known for hir  books about dogs.<ref name="Metraux">{{Cite web |title=How Sassafras Lowrey Made Writing About Dogs a Career |last=Métraux |first=Julia |work=Narratively |date=6 March 2020 |access-date=8 May 2020 |url= https://narratively.com/how-sassafras-lowrey-made-writing-about-dogs-a-career/|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230501174633/https://narratively.com/how-sassafras-lowrey-made-writing-about-dogs-a-career/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref> Lowrey is [[genderqueer]], [[trans]], femme, queer, polyamorous, and [[asexual]].<ref>{{cite tweet|user= sassafraslowrey|number= 1182723625448685568|date=11 October 2019|title=and to have made a core aspect of my career around writing the queerest books and stories I can imagine. Happy #NationalComingOutDay Queerly yours a: #runaway, formerly #homeless, #genderqueer, #trans, #femme, #queer, #polyamorous, #asexual, #little, #leather boy}}</ref>
    * [[Mauree Turner]], American politician and community organizer. Turner is a nonbinary femme<ref name="tweet11052020">{{cite tweet|user=MaureeTurnerOK|number=1324394753790742539|date=5 November 2020|title=That's me! Mauree Turner. Pronouns They & She (not preferred, just pronouns) I am a born n raised Muslim-Oklahoman. Non-binary femme, & community organizer. The work I've been doing with, in, & for my community goes back years.}}</ref> who was the first nonbinary person elected to a state legislature in the USA.<ref name="Smith-Mauree">{{Cite web |title=Mauree Turner is the first nonbinary and first Muslim Oklahoma state lawmaker |last=Smith |first=Kelsie |work=CNN |date=5 November 2020 |access-date=5 November 2020 |url= https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/05/politics/first-nonbinary-and-muslim-oklahoma-lawmaker/index.html}}</ref>
    * [[Nikkita Oliver]], American attorney, poet, and activist, is a [[genderfluid]] femme.<ref>{{cite tweet|title=As a Black gender fluid femme abolitionist I can applaud a Black womxn 4 achieving her dream while also saying that same Black womxn is not a role model for me nor the future I desire. I dream of a world where Black womxn don't have to lock up people 2 be a public servants.|user=NikkitaOliver|number=1325250281563541506|date=November 7, 2020}}</ref>
    * [[Mauree Turner]], American politician and community organizer. Turner is a nonbinary femme<ref name="tweet11052020">{{cite tweet|user=MaureeTurnerOK|number=1324394753790742539|date=5 November 2020|title=That's me! Mauree Turner. Pronouns They & She (not preferred, just pronouns) I am a born n raised Muslim-Oklahoman. Non-binary femme, & community organizer. The work I've been doing with, in, & for my community goes back years.}}</ref> who was the first nonbinary person elected to a state legislature in the USA.<ref name="Smith-Mauree">{{Cite web |title=Mauree Turner is the first nonbinary and first Muslim Oklahoma state lawmaker |last=Smith |first=Kelsie |work=CNN |date=5 November 2020 |access-date=5 November 2020 |url= https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/05/politics/first-nonbinary-and-muslim-oklahoma-lawmaker/index.html|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230610222519/https://www.cnn.com/2020/11/05/politics/first-nonbinary-and-muslim-oklahoma-lawmaker/index.html |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}</ref>


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    ==Further reading==
    ==Further reading==
    *{{Cite web |title=Five Queer People on What 'Femme' Means to Them |last=Donish |first=Cassie |work=Vice |date=5 December 2017 |access-date=8 June 2020 |url= https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/d3x8m7/five-queer-people-on-what-femme-means-to-them}} (note: article contains reclaimed slurs)
    *{{Cite web |title=Five Queer People on What 'Femme' Means to Them |last=Donish |first=Cassie |work=Vice |date=5 December 2017 |access-date=8 June 2020 |url= https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/d3x8m7/five-queer-people-on-what-femme-means-to-them|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230515053818/https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/d3x8m7/five-queer-people-on-what-femme-means-to-them |archive-date=17 July 2023 }} (note: article contains reclaimed slurs)
    *{{Cite web |title=The Many Definitions (and the Continuing Evolution) of the Word "Femme" |work=them. |date=19 July 2018 |access-date=13 June 2020 |url= https://www.them.us/story/inqueery-femme}}
    *{{Cite web |title=The Many Definitions (and the Continuing Evolution) of the Word "Femme" |work=them. |date=19 July 2018 |access-date=13 June 2020 |url= https://www.them.us/story/inqueery-femme|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230603023355/https://www.them.us/story/inqueery-femme |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}
    *{{Cite web |title=What We Mean When We Say "Femme": A Roundtable |url=https://www.autostraddle.com/what-we-mean-when-we-say-femme-a-roundtable-341842/ |work= Autostraddle |date=18 July 2016 |access-date=25 August 2020}}
    *{{Cite web |title=What We Mean When We Say "Femme": A Roundtable |url=https://www.autostraddle.com/what-we-mean-when-we-say-femme-a-roundtable-341842/ |work= Autostraddle |date=18 July 2016 |access-date=25 August 2020|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230528162620/https://www.autostraddle.com/what-we-mean-when-we-say-femme-a-roundtable-341842/ |archive-date=17 July 2023 }}
    *{{cite journal|title=The Misunderstood Gender: A Model of Modern Femme Identity|last= Levitt|first=Heidi M.|year=2003|journal=Sex Roles|volume=48}}
    *{{cite journal|title=The Misunderstood Gender: A Model of Modern Femme Identity|last= Levitt|first=Heidi M.|year=2003|journal=Sex Roles|volume=48}}


    Latest revision as of 17:20, 4 October 2023

    The Butch/Femme Society marching at NYC Gay Pride Parade 2007.

    Femme is a term that refers to a queer person whose gender expression is considered to be feminine. It was originally used to distinguish feminine lesbian and bisexual women from butch women, and it is still one of the main uses of the term. It is common for trans and nonbinary individuals to use the term to refer to their identity or expression even if they do not identify as lesbian or bisexual women.[1] However, this last usage is has been gatekept by trans-exclusionary members of the lesbian community.[2] A common definition of femme is someone who queers or subverts femininity, as opposed to a butch person, who rejects femininity.[3] Femme is also sometimes used as a gender in itself.[4]

    International Femme Appreciation Day is celebrated on the first Saturday of July.[5][6]

    Usage[edit | edit source]

    Some argue that the word femme[note 1] can only be used to describe people in the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and it can be a synonym of the expression lipstick lesbian in some cases. Because there are many stereotypes surrounding femininity, the term femme is often used to subvert cultural expectations about how a woman should look like. For this reason, many (but not all) people that identify as femme do not try to adhere to these stereotypes.[1] This is similar to how the word queer was reclaimed by the LGBTQ community.

    Femme has been used for women as well as men[7][8][9][10], and also for people outside of the gender binary.[3][11][12] Nonbinary femmes struggle against the misconception that nonbinary people must have an androgynous expression, since their own expression is feminine.[13]

    Some people claim that in the same way that nobody uses the words bear or twink unless they are gay men, nobody should use words such as femme or butch unless they are women. Therefore, they consider it appropriation.[2]

    Flags[edit | edit source]

    There is no universally-accepted flag for the femme identity, but several have been proposed. Below are some of them.

    • Created by tumblr user disasterbisexual.

      Created by tumblr user disasterbisexual.

    • Created by tumblr user momma-mogai-sphinx.

      Created by tumblr user momma-mogai-sphinx.

    • Created by tumblr user 0biz.

      Created by tumblr user 0biz.

    • Created by tumblr user butch-pentious.

      Created by tumblr user butch-pentious.

    • A flag for "nonbinary femme" from Beyond Mogai Pride Flags.

      A flag for "nonbinary femme" from Beyond Mogai Pride Flags.

    • Creator unknown.

      Creator unknown.

    • Created by Rebecca Bettencourt.

      Created by Rebecca Bettencourt.

    • Created by James/Ocean (tumblr user nbgender).

      Created by James/Ocean (tumblr user nbgender).

    • Created by tumblr user sweetjinxii.

      Created by tumblr user sweetjinxii.

    • Created by reddit user ShippyGoodness.

      Created by reddit user ShippyGoodness.

    • Created by tumblr user kenochoric, who nicknamed it the "sea femme" flag.

      Created by tumblr user kenochoric, who nicknamed it the "sea femme" flag.

    Notable femme people[edit | edit source]

    Kate Bornstein, a nonbinary femme-identified trans person.
    Nikkita Oliver, a genderfluid femme person.

    There are many more notable people who have a gender identity outside of the binary. The following are only some of those notable people who specifically describe their own identity by the name "femme," "fem," or a close analog to it, and who do not identify as just men or women.

    See also[edit | edit source]

    Further reading[edit | edit source]

    • Donish, Cassie (5 December 2017). "Five Queer People on What 'Femme' Means to Them". Vice. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 8 June 2020. (note: article contains reclaimed slurs)
    • "The Many Definitions (and the Continuing Evolution) of the Word "Femme"". them. 19 July 2018. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 13 June 2020.
    • "What We Mean When We Say "Femme": A Roundtable". Autostraddle. 18 July 2016. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 25 August 2020.
    • Levitt, Heidi M. (2003). "The Misunderstood Gender: A Model of Modern Femme Identity". Sex Roles. 48.

    References[edit | edit source]

    1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Tonic, Gina (24 August 2016). "What Does Femme Mean? The Difference Between Being Femme & Being Feminine". Bustle. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 28 April 2020.
    2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 On the appropriation of femme on Lesbians over everything (lesbiansovereverything.com) Archived on 17 July 2023
    3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 Shewan, Briana (15 February 2019). "Are you Femme? What Femme Isn't and What it is". affirmativecouch.com. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 28 April 2020. Femmes may have any gender identity; some consider femme their gender identity, whileother femmes may have a different gender identity (such as transwoman, nonbinary, cis-woman, genderfluid, agender, etc.) and consider femme their gender expression
    4. ↑ Schauer, Elyse (2016). "Ain't No Girl…Femme! Queer Femme Identity and Art Making (master's thesis)". Although some may be aware of the terms butch and femme, as applied to lesbian women, there is little awareness of femme outside of a lesbian context. Femme can actually indicate a gender that is altogether separate from woman, and people across gender presentations and sexualities may embrace femme in a queer context.
    5. ↑ Lapachet, María (3 July 2014). "International Femme Appreciation Day". A Femme in NYC. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 22 June 2020.
    6. ↑ "Lesbian Culture & Visibility". QueerEvents.ca. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 22 June 2020.
    7. ↑ "Glossary". Life Outside The Binary: Nonbinary Transgender Information Centre. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 11 November 2020.
    8. ↑ Michelson, Noah (2 February 2016). "This Is What Femme Looks Like". HuffPost. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 7 November 2020.
    9. ↑ Nichols, Margaret (1987). "What Feminists Can Learn From The Lesbian Sex Radicals". Conditions (14): 161. Archived from the original on 6 August 2023. Retrieved 7 November 2020. For some women, gender is less important than s/m identity; for others it is less important than some other aspect of personality. Still others are attracted only to butches or only to femmes—but they can be male or female butches or male or female femmes.CS1 maint: bot: original URL status unknown (link)
    10. ↑ "'I wanted to capture this idea that femme men are considered less than by the queer community': TQ talks to Lev A.C. Rosen". The Queerness. 3 August 2020. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 26 March 2021.
    11. ↑ Bashan, Frankie (7 September 2020). "What Does It Mean To Be Femme?". Little Gay Book. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 29 September 2020.
    12. ↑ Twitter hashtag #FemmesCanBeThems
    13. ↑ smith, s.e. (27 April 2015). "Beyond the binary: Yes, nonbinary femmes exist". this ain't livin'. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 28 April 2020.
    14. ↑ @Dev_Blair (25 January 2018). "Starting 2 prefer "they" pronouns because so many people wanna equate "she" pronouns w/ me being a woman n that's not really what I mean when I say non-binary femme-what I mean is my gender is neither male nor female but I do strongly align with femininity" – via Twitter.
    15. ↑ Oyer, Kalyn (January 28, 2021). "SC women, nonbinary guitarists participate in She Shreds Media riff a day challenge". Post and Courier. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved January 30, 2021.
    16. ↑ Raymond, Gerard (July 11, 2018). "Interview: Kate Bornstein on Their Broadway Debut in Straight White Men". Slant Magazine. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved May 16, 2020.
    17. ↑ "Sand Chang". Trans Bodies, Trans Selves. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 6 April 2020.
    18. ↑ Kramer, Kaiya (11 December 2015). "Ep 69 Dr. Sand Chang Licensed Psychologist Interview". The Queer Life Radio. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 6 April 2020.
    19. ↑ Harrison, Christy (2 April 2018). "Food Psych #150: Disordered Eating & Gender Identity with Sand Chang". Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 28 April 2020.
    20. ↑ Ho, Sandy (7 May 2018). "Disability & Intersectionality Summit: Interview with Sharon daVanport". Disability Visibility Project. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 28 May 2020.
    21. ↑ "PEOPLE: Why Sharon daVanport built a support network for autistic women and nonbinary people". Echo Chamber Escape. May 26, 2020. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved May 28, 2020.
    22. ↑ Finley, Taryn (February 8, 2019). "Ericka Hart Is On A Journey To Dismantle Medical Racism". HuffPost. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved October 6, 2020.
    23. ↑ Métraux, Julia (6 March 2020). "How Sassafras Lowrey Made Writing About Dogs a Career". Narratively. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 8 May 2020.
    24. ↑ @sassafraslowrey (11 October 2019). "and to have made a core aspect of my career around writing the queerest books and stories I can imagine. Happy #NationalComingOutDay Queerly yours a: #runaway, formerly #homeless, #genderqueer, #trans, #femme, #queer, #polyamorous, #asexual, #little, #leather boy" – via Twitter.
    25. ↑ @NikkitaOliver (November 7, 2020). "As a Black gender fluid femme abolitionist I can applaud a Black womxn 4 achieving her dream while also saying that same Black womxn is not a role model for me nor the future I desire. I dream of a world where Black womxn don't have to lock up people 2 be a public servants" – via Twitter.
    26. ↑ @MaureeTurnerOK (5 November 2020). "That's me! Mauree Turner. Pronouns They & She (not preferred, just pronouns) I am a born n raised Muslim-Oklahoman. Non-binary femme, & community organizer. The work I've been doing with, in, & for my community goes back years" – via Twitter.
    27. ↑ Smith, Kelsie (5 November 2020). "Mauree Turner is the first nonbinary and first Muslim Oklahoma state lawmaker". CNN. Archived from the original on 17 July 2023. Retrieved 5 November 2020.

    Notes[edit | edit source]

    1. ↑ Note that, in French, femme means woman. The pronunciation is also different ([fam] in French, [fɛm] in English). This article is about the English usage of this word.
    Retrieved from "https://nonbinary.wiki/index.php?title=Femme&oldid=38368"