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'''Pronouns''' are a part of language used to refer to someone or something without using proper nouns. In standard English, some singular third-person pronouns are "[[Pronouns#He|he]]" and "[[Pronouns#She|she]]," which are usually seen as ''gender-specific pronouns'', referring to a man and a woman, respectively. A ''gender-neutral pronoun'' or ''gender-inclusive pronoun'' is one that gives no implications about gender, and could be used for someone of any gender. Some languages only have gender-neutral pronouns, whereas other languages have difficulty establishing any that aren't gender-specific. People with [[Nonbinary gender|non-binary]] gender identities often choose new third-person pronouns for themselves as part of their [[transition]]. They often choose gender-neutral pronouns so that others won't see them as female or male.
'''Pronouns''' are a part of language used to refer to someone or something without using proper nouns. In standard English, some singular third-person pronouns are "[[Pronouns#He|he]]" and "[[Pronouns#She|she]]," which are usually seen as ''gender-specific pronouns'', referring to a man and a woman, respectively. A ''gender-neutral pronoun'' or ''gender-inclusive pronoun'' is one that gives no implications about gender, and could be used for someone of any gender. Some languages only have gender-neutral pronouns, whereas other languages have difficulty establishing any that aren't gender-specific. People with [[Nonbinary gender|non-binary]] gender identities often choose new third-person pronouns for themselves as part of their [[transition]]. They often choose gender-neutral pronouns so that others won't see them as female or male.
==Use for non-binary people==
Although many gender-neutral pronouns were created to speak of no specific person, some non-binary people adopt these pronouns for themselves. They ask that other people call them only by one particular set of gender-neutral pronouns. This can be a part of a non-binary person's social [[transition]].
===Examples of specific non-binary people's pronouns===
Some non-binary people ask to be called by gender-neutral pronouns. Other non-binary people ask to be called by "he" or "she" pronouns, some of whom see that as a gender-neutral use of those words. The use of binary pronouns doesn't necessarily mean that someone has a binary gender identity. Some non-binary people have more than one set of pronouns that they are okay with people using for them.
'''He.''' Some specific non-binary people who ask to be called by "[[Pronouns#He|he]]" pronouns include comedian [[Nonbinary celebrities#Eddie Izzard|Eddie Izzard]], writer [[Nonbinary celebrities#Richard O'Brien|Richard O'Brien]], songwriter [[Antony Hegarty]], and guitarist [[Nonbinary celebrities#Pete Townshend|Pete Townshend]].
'''She.''' Non-binary gender people who ask people to use "[[Pronouns#She|she]]" pronouns for them include actor [[Nonbinary celebrities#Rain Dove|Rain Dove]], singer-songwriter [[Nonbinary celebrities#Ellie Jackson|Ellie Jackson]], musician [[Nonbinary celebrities#JD Samson|JD Samson]], singer [[Nonbinary celebrities#Kieran Strange|Kieran Strange]], activist [[Nonbinary celebrities#Kate Bornstein|Kate Bornstein]] (who also goes by "they")<ref>Kate Bornstein (@katebornstein), "Thanks for asking, @msmacb. I like they/them. She/her are also okay—makes me smile. xox" 2016-01-26. https://twitter.com/katebornstein/status/692135982716575745</ref> and actor [[Nonbinary celebrities#Tilda Swinton|Tilda Swinton]].
'''They.''' Some nonbinary people ask to be called by "singular they" pronouns, including writer [[Nonbinary celebrities#Ivan E. Coyote|Ivan E. Coyote]], actor [[Nonbinary celebrities#Tom Phelan|Tom Phelan]], actor [[Jiz Lee]], singer-songwriter [[Nonbinary celebrities#Rae Spoon|Rae Spoon]], and rapper [[Nonbinary celebrities#Raeen Roes (Angel Haze)|Raeen Roes]].
'''Other pronouns.''' Nonbinary people who go by other pronouns include singer Mx [[Justin Vivian Bond]], who goes by [[Pronouns#V|v]] pronouns. "[[Pronouns#Ze|Ze]], hir" pronouns are the preferred pronouns of revolutionary communist [[Leslie Feinberg]] (who also went by she)<ref>Minnie Bruce Pratt, "Transgender Pioneer and Stone Butch Blues Author Leslie Feinberg Has Died." ''Advocate.'' November 17, 2014. http://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/books/2014/11/17/transgender-pioneer-leslie-feinberg-stone-butch-blues-has-died</ref>.
===Surveys===
There have been a few surveys on gender-neutral pronouns and pronoun preferences.
* [http://anlamasanda.tumblr.com/post/15140114246 This survey by anlamasanda on Tumblr] ran for many months. The results were published at the start of 2012, and showed that of the 800+ people responding, '''singular "they"''' was the most popular pronoun at '''62%'''. [http://anlamasanda.tumblr.com/psurvey Commentary.]
* [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AiVvhUyACboSdG56TmczMmtGbFJCOVg1dTdUVFp1enc#gid=1 This survey by Lottelodge (now cassolotl) on Tumblr] ran for two months. The results were published in July 2013, and showed that of over 2,000 respondents '''singular "they"''' was the most popular pronoun at '''63%'''. [http://cassolotl.tumblr.com/post/54769253277 Commentary.] This rose to 74% in 2015,<ref name="CassolotlNBGQ2015">[http://cassolotl.tumblr.com/post/111585517125 Nonbinary Stats 2105 (Worldwide) - the results], published 20 Feb 2015</ref> and 77% in 2016.<ref name="CassolotlNBGQ2016">[http://cassolotl.tumblr.com/post/137953257500 NB/GQ Survey 2016 - the worldwide results], published 20 Feb 2015</ref>
* [http://nonbinarystats.tumblr.com/post/141311159050/nbgq-survey-2016-the-worldwide-results Nonbinary Stats Survey of 2016] ran in January for 8 days, and published its results in March. The most popular pronoun was "they," at 77.5%, followed by she, he, "mix it up," and a preference to not have others pronouns for one at all. The survey recorded 123 different pronoun sets in use among 3055 nonbinary people, of which, 90 pronouns were entered only once.
==How to change your pronouns==
If you are nonbinary and want to change your pronouns, this is a purely social part of your transition, rather than one using paperwork. First, you need to put a lot of thought into choosing pronouns that feel satisfactory to you. Research and experiment to find out what feels right. Next, you need to tell other people. As a part of social transition, you need cooperation from other people in order to be called by the pronouns you want, so it's important to keep your composure as well as stay firm. You can help remind people of your pronouns by wearing them on a badge or writing them in your Twitter profile.
=== Choosing your pronouns ===
First, form your opinions on what you want from your new pronouns. Next, list your favorite pronouns, and compare them to your opinions so that you can list their pros and cons. Meanwhile, test your favorite pronouns out loud and in writing, to see how they feel to you in action.
'''Form opinions'''
The first step of choosing your pronouns is to form your criteria for what you want from your pronouns. Some traits are mutually exclusive, so you need to weigh your own opinions about what you think makes a good or personally suitable pronoun. Here is a sample list of criteria you could consider. Copy this list into another document, and write numbers next to the criteria to rank them by their priority to you. Think about what traits matter to you, even if they are not on this list.
* You want to be basically the only person with these pronouns
* You want to have these pronouns in common with many real people
* Pronounceable, easy to say out loud
* Easy to spell
* No rare letters
* Fits into a sentence seamlessly
* Accessible, easy for people to use who have trouble with English
* Old, created a long time ago
* New
* Commonly used
* Rare
* Unique and creative
* Sounds like a mix of "she" and "he" pronouns
* Doesn't sound at all like "she" or "he", to get more distance from the gender binary
* Sounds like a standard English pronoun, but with a twist
* Part of native English
* Symbolic, describes you or your gender
* Sounds like your name
* Sounds like the word for your gender
* Sounds cool, tough, pretty, whimsical, serious, or something else like that
* Associated with your interests, community, or culture
* Part of a dialect
* Culturally neutral
* Your friends and family like them
* Easy to persuade other people that it's okay to use these pronouns for you
* Satisfactory to people who are strict about grammar
* Slangy, fits well into informal speech
* Fits well into formal writing
The above list is only an example. If you like, you can use it as inspiration to create your own list from scratch.
'''Compare them'''
Next, after you decide what criteria you want for your pronouns, browse the alphabetical list of all pronouns above. Write down a list of the ones you like. Put them in a table, with columns for what you see as the good and bad traits of those pronouns. After you finish assessing them all, write down your concluding opinion about each in the last column. Here is a small example of such a table.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Pronoun
! Pros
! Cons
! Conclusion
|-
| ve, verself
| Used in a book I like
| Doesn't sound right to me
| Maybe no
|-
| E, Emself
| Common, easy to say
| Too short?
| Maybe yes
|}
You can use the above table as your template. Create your own table in a word processor, or draw it by hand in your journal. Although the above table only compares two sets of pronouns, you can add rows for as many pronouns that interest you. You don't need to form your conclusions on all pronouns in one sitting. Perhaps over the course of a few days, take your time to form your opinions on each pronoun set, and return periodically to add more notes to your pronoun table.
'''Test them'''
At the same time as you work on the above table of pros and cons, test the pronouns that you might like. Try them in several ways: in writing, out loud, and in reference to you. If you have friends who understand, test out having them call you by these pronouns for a little while. You can help your friends with this by wearing a pronoun badge (see below). You can also test how your pronouns look in writing by using web-sites that put them into a text. Such sites include [http://www.pronouns.failedslacker.com/ Failedslacker's Pronoun Dressing Room] and [http://www.practicewithpronouns.com/ PracticeWithPronouns.com]. You may find that you feel differently about the pronouns when they are in action, and when they are in reference to you.
===Announcing your change of pronouns===
When you have settled on your favorite set of pronouns, you need to tell people, so they can start using them for you. Announce it to them by a handwritten letter, e-mail, or blog post. Keep your message polite, and say "please" and "thank you." In order to be complete, and to address the first questions the reader might ask, your announcement should include these parts:
* Opening: Assuming that you have already [[come out]] to these people as nonbinary, your announcement message should open with a reminder of that, as part of the explanation for why you want to change your pronouns.
* List all the grammatical forms of your new pronouns.
* Show people how to use these pronouns by giving an example of them in use in a sentence or several.
* You might tell how to pronounce the pronouns.
* Briefly say why you chose these pronouns rather than others.
* If you use two sets of pronouns, explain which set is more appropriate, under what conditions.
* Conclusion: Request that people use these pronouns for you.
Based on the above, here is a [[template letters|sample letter]] of a fictional person announcing their pronoun change. You can use it as a template for writing your own.<blockquote>Dear Stuart,</blockquote>
<blockquote>As you know, I have a nonbinary gender identity, meaning that I don't think of myself as a woman or a man. I'm transitioning to a gender expression that feels more like the real me. Since being called "he" or "she" doesn't feel right to me, I have decided to change my pronouns to singular they (they, them, their, theirs, themself). For an example of these pronouns in a couple sentences: "They are Morgan, that's them. They will read their book by themself". I like these singular gender-neutral pronouns the best because they were used by Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and other great writers. They have been a part of English for a long time. From now on, please call me by "they" pronouns, instead of "he" or "she".</blockquote>
<blockquote>Thank you,</blockquote>
<blockquote>Mx Morgan Doe</blockquote>
You can also use the above sample letter as a template for writing an e-mail, just by leaving out the signature. Use it as a template for a blog post by leaving out the salutation.
=== Pronoun badges ===
To help other people remember which pronouns you want to be called by, you can wear a badge, jewelry, accessory, or piece of clothing with your pronouns written on it. You can use craft materials to create your own badge, or you can buy one from craft workers. Some examples of these makers, and the different kinds of pronoun badges that they make:
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/rosemaryrainstudios Rosemary Rain Studios] hand-makes banner-shaped pins with custom pronouns on them.
* [http://www.storenvy.com/stores/134124-non-newtonian-gender-fluid Non-Newtonian Gender Fluid] makes adhesive labels and pin-back badges that look like common "Hello My Name Is" stickers, but below your name, you have your pronouns. This can suit you if you want to remind people of your new [[Names|name]] as well as your new pronouns. If you use a wet erase pen on the pin-back badges, you can change your name and pronouns as often as you need.
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/SpacerobotStudio Spacerobot Studio] makes necklaces that have charms that you can flip over to show your current pronoun. This can suit you if you change your pronouns very often, because of being [[genderfluid]], or just experimenting with what pronouns you like best.
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/Synsyne Synsyne] makes pin-back badges that say "Today my pronouns are..." with a blank space to write on with a wet erase marker. This is also suitable for folks who often change their pronouns.
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThePaperPoppyStore The Paper Poppy Store] makes metal pendants and keychains hand-stamped with your pronouns. These can suit you if you also wear dog tags or want a rugged look.
* [http://www.storenvy.com/stores/486097-patches-n-cream Patches N Cream] and [https://www.etsy.com/shop/emBOIdery emBOIdery] hand-embroider pronoun patches of the kind that you can put on a punk jacket.
* [http://www.storenvy.com/stores/421713-hat-s-more-like-it Hat's More Like It], [https://www.etsy.com/shop/CoziesByElliott CoziesByElliot], and [https://www.etsy.com/shop/CometBirthmark CometBirthmark] make hand-knit hats with big pronouns on them.
The above list gives only a few examples of those who sell pronouns you can wear. If you search for "pronouns" on [http://www.etsy.com Etsy.com] or [http://storenvy.com Storenvy.com], you will likely find your pronouns on things by many more makers. You can find many who make printed pin-back badges, as well as punk-style hand-embroidered patches. Take some time to browse and find a badge that really says you. For an easy comparison, see a collection of many sellers that make pronoun accessories and clothing on the [https://www.pinterest.com/camphus/wear-your-pronouns/ Wear Your Pronouns] pinboard. To keep it short and not overwhelming, the pinboard shows only one or two pictures for each seller.
====Virtual badges====
You can also wear a virtual badge by writing your pronouns in your profiles on the Internet. Although this may have started with nonbinary folks, it is becoming common practice for transgender and cisgender people alike to put their pronouns in their Internet profiles. Here is a made-up example of a Twitter profile that gives pronouns:<blockquote>Mx Morgan Doe </blockquote>
<blockquote>Liberal Arts major, author. 23. Nonbinary. Pronouns: they, them, their, theirs, themself.</blockquote>
You can use the above example as a template for writing your own. If space is too limited to list all the forms of your pronoun, you can instead write only the nominative form of your pronoun ("Pronoun: they") or only the reflexive form ("Pronoun: themself"). The above example is also just right for the sidebar profile in sites such as Tumblr.com. On social networking web-sites that let you write longer profiles, you can tell more about your pronouns. For an example of how to write about them, use some traits from the template letter that is higher on this page. Limit your talk about your pronouns to a paragraph or two, at most.
In order to make it easier for people to put their pronouns in profiles with limited space, [https://www.twitter.com/morganastra @morganastra] and [https://www.twitter.com/thelseraphim @thelseraphim] created a web-site called [http://pronoun.is/ Pronoun Island]. Anyone can use it to create a link to a page that lists their pronouns and how to use them. For some pronouns that are built into the project, the web address is very short, so it's ideal for Twitter. People can also ask on Github for more pronouns to be added in the short form.
==Pronoun etiquette==
Many [[gender binary|binary]] and [[nonbinary]] [[transgender]] folk experience [[gender dysphoria]] when people refer to them using the wrong pronouns. For those who don't [[Practical_Resources#Presentation|pass]] as well as they'd like, being called by the wrong gender (''misgendered'') with the wrong pronouns is a common problem with a lot of work involved. An individual, upon being misgendered, is forced to either do the [[coming out]] spiel or grin and bear it, making the coming out later more awkward. If someone corrects you on their pronouns, the best way you can help is to start using their preferred pronouns right away without argument.
If your pronouns are unusual, or aren't what people think of as matching your gender expression, you may have to get used to reminding people to use them, and explaining them to people a lot. Learn people's common questions and objections to your pronouns, and rehearse your responses to them, so that you can keep your composure.
A person can have more than one set of pronouns that they want people to use for them. For example, suppose that your favorite set of pronouns might be "ze, hir." However, you don't want these to make an accessibility problem for people who have trouble with English, or maybe there are some situations where you don't feel safe using them, or don't feel up to the challenge of getting people to use them. In that case, you have decided to let people also call you by a second set of pronouns (''auxiliary pronouns'') that you like almost but not quite as much: "she, her." For another example, some genderfluid people feel comfortable or uncomfortable with certain pronouns depending on their current feelings about their gender identity. As a result, they feel the need to alternate pronouns, and ask to be called by different pronouns at different times.
Unusual pronouns can make trouble for people who speak English as a second language, or who have disabilities that make it harder for them to speak and understand English. Unusual pronouns are difficult to understand for people who lipread.<ref>"Pronouns." ''Footnotes.'' 2003. Retrieved 2007. http://web.archive.org/web/20090414130833/http://footnotes.jinkies.org.uk/pronouns.html</ref> If you and another person have difficulty using unusual pronouns for people for these reasons, then it is acceptable and appropriate to ask a person if they have another set of pronouns that you can use in that case.<ref>otherkinlogic, vulpinekin, and roborenard. "Nounself pronouns and how to use them." http://otherkinlogic.tumblr.com/post/92382457520 </ref>


==Arabic neutral pronouns==
==Arabic neutral pronouns==
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{{Clear}}
{{Clear}}
==Use for non-binary people==
Although many gender-neutral pronouns were created to speak of no specific person, some non-binary people adopt these pronouns for themselves. They ask that other people call them only by one particular set of gender-neutral pronouns. This can be a part of a non-binary person's social [[Transition|transition]].
===Examples of specific non-binary people's pronouns===
Some non-binary people ask to be called by gender-neutral pronouns. Other non-binary people ask to be called by "he" or "she" pronouns, some of whom see that as a gender-neutral use of those words. The use of binary pronouns doesn't necessarily mean that someone has a binary gender identity. Some non-binary people have more than one set of pronouns that they are okay with people using for them.
'''He.''' Some specific non-binary people who ask to be called by "[[Pronouns#He|he]]" pronouns include comedian [[Nonbinary celebrities#Eddie Izzard|Eddie Izzard]], writer [[Nonbinary celebrities#Richard O'Brien|Richard O'Brien]], songwriter [[Antony Hegarty]], and guitarist [[Nonbinary celebrities#Pete Townshend|Pete Townshend]].
'''She.''' Non-binary gender people who ask people to use "[[Pronouns#She|she]]" pronouns for them include actor [[Nonbinary celebrities#Rain Dove|Rain Dove]], singer-songwriter [[Nonbinary celebrities#Ellie Jackson|Ellie Jackson]], musician [[Nonbinary celebrities#JD Samson|JD Samson]], singer [[Nonbinary celebrities#Kieran Strange|Kieran Strange]], activist [[Nonbinary celebrities#Kate Bornstein|Kate Bornstein]] (who also goes by "they")<ref>Kate Bornstein (@katebornstein), "Thanks for asking, @msmacb. I like they/them. She/her are also okay—makes me smile. xox" 2016-01-26. https://twitter.com/katebornstein/status/692135982716575745</ref> and actor [[Nonbinary celebrities#Tilda Swinton|Tilda Swinton]].
'''They.''' Some nonbinary people ask to be called by "singular they" pronouns, including writer [[Nonbinary celebrities#Ivan E. Coyote|Ivan E. Coyote]], actor [[Nonbinary celebrities#Tom Phelan|Tom Phelan]], actor [[Jiz Lee]], singer-songwriter [[Nonbinary celebrities#Rae Spoon|Rae Spoon]], and rapper [[Nonbinary celebrities#Raeen Roes (Angel Haze)|Raeen Roes]].
'''Other pronouns.''' Nonbinary people who go by other pronouns include singer Mx [[Justin Vivian Bond]], who goes by [[Pronouns#V|v]] pronouns. "[[Pronouns#Ze|Ze]], hir" pronouns are the preferred pronouns of revolutionary communist [[Leslie Feinberg]] (who also went by she)<ref>Minnie Bruce Pratt, "Transgender Pioneer and Stone Butch Blues Author Leslie Feinberg Has Died." ''Advocate.'' November 17, 2014. [http://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/books/2014/11/17/transgender-pioneer-leslie-feinberg-stone-butch-blues-has-died http://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/books/2014/11/17/transgender-pioneer-leslie-feinberg-stone-butch-blues-has-died]</ref>.
===Surveys===
There have been a few surveys on gender-neutral pronouns and pronoun preferences.
* [http://anlamasanda.tumblr.com/post/15140114246 This survey by anlamasanda on Tumblr] ran for many months. The results were published at the start of 2012, and showed that of the 800+ people responding, '''singular "they"''' was the most popular pronoun at '''62%'''. [http://anlamasanda.tumblr.com/psurvey Commentary.]
* [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AiVvhUyACboSdG56TmczMmtGbFJCOVg1dTdUVFp1enc#gid=1 This survey by Lottelodge (now cassolotl) on Tumblr] ran for two months. The results were published in July 2013, and showed that of over 2,000 respondents '''singular "they"''' was the most popular pronoun at '''63%'''. [http://cassolotl.tumblr.com/post/54769253277 Commentary.] This rose to 74% in 2015,<ref name="CassolotlNBGQ2015">[http://cassolotl.tumblr.com/post/111585517125 Nonbinary Stats 2105 (Worldwide) - the results], published 20 Feb 2015</ref> and 77% in 2016.<ref name="CassolotlNBGQ2016">[http://cassolotl.tumblr.com/post/137953257500 NB/GQ Survey 2016 - the worldwide results], published 20 Feb 2015</ref>
* [http://nonbinarystats.tumblr.com/post/141311159050/nbgq-survey-2016-the-worldwide-results Nonbinary Stats Survey of 2016] ran in January for 8 days, and published its results in March. The most popular pronoun was "they," at 77.5%, followed by she, he, "mix it up," and a preference to not have others pronouns for one at all. The survey recorded 123 different pronoun sets in use among 3055 nonbinary people, of which, 90 pronouns were entered only once.
==How to change your pronouns==
If you are nonbinary and want to change your pronouns, this is a purely social part of your transition, rather than one using paperwork. First, you need to put a lot of thought into choosing pronouns that feel satisfactory to you. Research and experiment to find out what feels right. Next, you need to tell other people. As a part of social transition, you need cooperation from other people in order to be called by the pronouns you want, so it's important to keep your composure as well as stay firm. You can help remind people of your pronouns by wearing them on a badge or writing them in your Twitter profile.
===Choosing your pronouns===
First, form your opinions on what you want from your new pronouns. Next, list your favorite pronouns, and compare them to your opinions so that you can list their pros and cons. Meanwhile, test your favorite pronouns out loud and in writing, to see how they feel to you in action.
'''Form opinions'''
The first step of choosing your pronouns is to form your criteria for what you want from your pronouns. Some traits are mutually exclusive, so you need to weigh your own opinions about what you think makes a good or personally suitable pronoun. Here is a sample list of criteria you could consider. Copy this list into another document, and write numbers next to the criteria to rank them by their priority to you. Think about what traits matter to you, even if they are not on this list.
* You want to be basically the only person with these pronouns
* You want to have these pronouns in common with many real people
* Pronounceable, easy to say out loud
* Easy to spell
* No rare letters
* Fits into a sentence seamlessly
* Accessible, easy for people to use who have trouble with English
* Old, created a long time ago
* New
* Commonly used
* Rare
* Unique and creative
* Sounds like a mix of "she" and "he" pronouns
* Doesn't sound at all like "she" or "he", to get more distance from the gender binary
* Sounds like a standard English pronoun, but with a twist
* Part of native English
* Symbolic, describes you or your gender
* Sounds like your name
* Sounds like the word for your gender
* Sounds cool, tough, pretty, whimsical, serious, or something else like that
* Associated with your interests, community, or culture
* Part of a dialect
* Culturally neutral
* Your friends and family like them
* Easy to persuade other people that it's okay to use these pronouns for you
* Satisfactory to people who are strict about grammar
* Slangy, fits well into informal speech
* Fits well into formal writing
The above list is only an example. If you like, you can use it as inspiration to create your own list from scratch.
'''Compare them'''
Next, after you decide what criteria you want for your pronouns, browse the alphabetical list of all pronouns above. Write down a list of the ones you like. Put them in a table, with columns for what you see as the good and bad traits of those pronouns. After you finish assessing them all, write down your concluding opinion about each in the last column. Here is a small example of such a table.
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Pronoun
! Pros
! Cons
! Conclusion
|-
| ve, verself
| Used in a book I like
| Doesn't sound right to me
| Maybe no
|-
| E, Emself
| Common, easy to say
| Too short?
| Maybe yes
|}
You can use the above table as your template. Create your own table in a word processor, or draw it by hand in your journal. Although the above table only compares two sets of pronouns, you can add rows for as many pronouns that interest you. You don't need to form your conclusions on all pronouns in one sitting. Perhaps over the course of a few days, take your time to form your opinions on each pronoun set, and return periodically to add more notes to your pronoun table.
'''Test them'''
At the same time as you work on the above table of pros and cons, test the pronouns that you might like. Try them in several ways: in writing, out loud, and in reference to you. If you have friends who understand, test out having them call you by these pronouns for a little while. You can help your friends with this by wearing a pronoun badge (see below). You can also test how your pronouns look in writing by using web-sites that put them into a text. Such sites include [http://www.pronouns.failedslacker.com/ Failedslacker's Pronoun Dressing Room] and [http://www.practicewithpronouns.com/ PracticeWithPronouns.com]. You may find that you feel differently about the pronouns when they are in action, and when they are in reference to you.
===Announcing your change of pronouns===
When you have settled on your favorite set of pronouns, you need to tell people, so they can start using them for you. Announce it to them by a handwritten letter, e-mail, or blog post. Keep your message polite, and say "please" and "thank you." In order to be complete, and to address the first questions the reader might ask, your announcement should include these parts:
* Opening: Assuming that you have already [[come out]] to these people as nonbinary, your announcement message should open with a reminder of that, as part of the explanation for why you want to change your pronouns.
* List all the grammatical forms of your new pronouns.
* Show people how to use these pronouns by giving an example of them in use in a sentence or several.
* You might tell how to pronounce the pronouns.
* Briefly say why you chose these pronouns rather than others.
* If you use two sets of pronouns, explain which set is more appropriate, under what conditions.
* Conclusion: Request that people use these pronouns for you.
Based on the above, here is a [[template letters|sample letter]] of a fictional person announcing their pronoun change. You can use it as a template for writing your own.
<blockquote>Dear Stuart,</blockquote>
<blockquote>As you know, I have a nonbinary gender identity, meaning that I don't think of myself as a woman or a man. I'm transitioning to a gender expression that feels more like the real me. Since being called "he" or "she" doesn't feel right to me, I have decided to change my pronouns to singular they (they, them, their, theirs, themself). For an example of these pronouns in a couple sentences: "They are Morgan, that's them. They will read their book by themself". I like these singular gender-neutral pronouns the best because they were used by Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and other great writers. They have been a part of English for a long time. From now on, please call me by "they" pronouns, instead of "he" or "she".</blockquote>
<blockquote>Thank you,</blockquote>
<blockquote>Mx Morgan Doe</blockquote>
You can also use the above sample letter as a template for writing an e-mail, just by leaving out the signature. Use it as a template for a blog post by leaving out the salutation.
===Pronoun badges===
To help other people remember which pronouns you want to be called by, you can wear a badge, jewelry, accessory, or piece of clothing with your pronouns written on it. You can use craft materials to create your own badge, or you can buy one from craft workers. Some examples of these makers, and the different kinds of pronoun badges that they make:
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/rosemaryrainstudios Rosemary Rain Studios] hand-makes banner-shaped pins with custom pronouns on them.
* [http://www.storenvy.com/stores/134124-non-newtonian-gender-fluid Non-Newtonian Gender Fluid] makes adhesive labels and pin-back badges that look like common "Hello My Name Is" stickers, but below your name, you have your pronouns. This can suit you if you want to remind people of your new [[Names|name]] as well as your new pronouns. If you use a wet erase pen on the pin-back badges, you can change your name and pronouns as often as you need.
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/SpacerobotStudio Spacerobot Studio] makes necklaces that have charms that you can flip over to show your current pronoun. This can suit you if you change your pronouns very often, because of being [[Genderfluid|genderfluid]], or just experimenting with what pronouns you like best.
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/Synsyne Synsyne] makes pin-back badges that say "Today my pronouns are..." with a blank space to write on with a wet erase marker. This is also suitable for folks who often change their pronouns.
* [https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThePaperPoppyStore The Paper Poppy Store] makes metal pendants and keychains hand-stamped with your pronouns. These can suit you if you also wear dog tags or want a rugged look.
* [http://www.storenvy.com/stores/486097-patches-n-cream Patches N Cream] and [https://www.etsy.com/shop/emBOIdery emBOIdery] hand-embroider pronoun patches of the kind that you can put on a punk jacket.
* [http://www.storenvy.com/stores/421713-hat-s-more-like-it Hat's More Like It], [https://www.etsy.com/shop/CoziesByElliott CoziesByElliot], and [https://www.etsy.com/shop/CometBirthmark CometBirthmark] make hand-knit hats with big pronouns on them.
The above list gives only a few examples of those who sell pronouns you can wear. If you search for "pronouns" on [http://www.etsy.com Etsy.com] or [http://storenvy.com Storenvy.com], you will likely find your pronouns on things by many more makers. You can find many who make printed pin-back badges, as well as punk-style hand-embroidered patches. Take some time to browse and find a badge that really says you. For an easy comparison, see a collection of many sellers that make pronoun accessories and clothing on the [https://www.pinterest.com/camphus/wear-your-pronouns/ Wear Your Pronouns] pinboard. To keep it short and not overwhelming, the pinboard shows only one or two pictures for each seller.
====Virtual badges====
You can also wear a virtual badge by writing your pronouns in your profiles on the Internet. Although this may have started with nonbinary folks, it is becoming common practice for transgender and cisgender people alike to put their pronouns in their Internet profiles. Here is a made-up example of a Twitter profile that gives pronouns:
<blockquote>Mx Morgan Doe </blockquote>
<blockquote>Liberal Arts major, author. 23. Nonbinary. Pronouns: they, them, their, theirs, themself.</blockquote>
You can use the above example as a template for writing your own. If space is too limited to list all the forms of your pronoun, you can instead write only the nominative form of your pronoun ("Pronoun: they") or only the reflexive form ("Pronoun: themself"). The above example is also just right for the sidebar profile in sites such as Tumblr.com. On social networking web-sites that let you write longer profiles, you can tell more about your pronouns. For an example of how to write about them, use some traits from the template letter that is higher on this page. Limit your talk about your pronouns to a paragraph or two, at most.
In order to make it easier for people to put their pronouns in profiles with limited space, [https://www.twitter.com/morganastra @morganastra] and [https://www.twitter.com/thelseraphim @thelseraphim] created a web-site called [http://pronoun.is/ Pronoun Island]. Anyone can use it to create a link to a page that lists their pronouns and how to use them. For some pronouns that are built into the project, the web address is very short, so it's ideal for Twitter. People can also ask on Github for more pronouns to be added in the short form.
==Pronoun etiquette==
Many [[gender binary|binary]] and [[nonbinary]] [[transgender]] folk experience [[gender dysphoria]] when people refer to them using the wrong pronouns. For those who don't [[Practical_Resources#Presentation|pass]] as well as they'd like, being called by the wrong gender (''misgendered'') with the wrong pronouns is a common problem with a lot of work involved. An individual, upon being misgendered, is forced to either do the [[Coming out|coming out]] spiel or grin and bear it, making the coming out later more awkward. If someone corrects you on their pronouns, the best way you can help is to start using their preferred pronouns right away without argument.
If your pronouns are unusual, or aren't what people think of as matching your gender expression, you may have to get used to reminding people to use them, and explaining them to people a lot. Learn people's common questions and objections to your pronouns, and rehearse your responses to them, so that you can keep your composure.
A person can have more than one set of pronouns that they want people to use for them. For example, suppose that your favorite set of pronouns might be "ze, hir." However, you don't want these to make an accessibility problem for people who have trouble with English, or maybe there are some situations where you don't feel safe using them, or don't feel up to the challenge of getting people to use them. In that case, you have decided to let people also call you by a second set of pronouns (''auxiliary pronouns'') that you like almost but not quite as much: "she, her." For another example, some genderfluid people feel comfortable or uncomfortable with certain pronouns depending on their current feelings about their gender identity. As a result, they feel the need to alternate pronouns, and ask to be called by different pronouns at different times.
Unusual pronouns can make trouble for people who speak English as a second language, or who have disabilities that make it harder for them to speak and understand English. Unusual pronouns are difficult to understand for people who lipread.<ref>"Pronouns." ''Footnotes.'' 2003. Retrieved 2007. [http://web.archive.org/web/20090414130833/http://footnotes.jinkies.org.uk/pronouns.html http://web.archive.org/web/20090414130833/http://footnotes.jinkies.org.uk/pronouns.html]</ref> If you and another person have difficulty using unusual pronouns for people for these reasons, then it is acceptable and appropriate to ask a person if they have another set of pronouns that you can use in that case.<ref>otherkinlogic, vulpinekin, and roborenard. "Nounself pronouns and how to use them." [http://otherkinlogic.tumblr.com/post/92382457520 http://otherkinlogic.tumblr.com/post/92382457520] </ref>
==See also==
==See also==
* [[Gender_neutral_language#English|Gender neutral language: English]]
* [[Gender_neutral_language#English|Gender neutral language: English]]
* [[Celebrity pronoun project]]
* [[Celebrity pronoun project]]


 
== External Links ==
===External Links===
* [http://web.mit.edu/trans/GenderNeutralPronouns.pdf MIT’s Ally Toolkit: Gender Neutral Pronoun Usage]
* [http://web.mit.edu/trans/GenderNeutralPronouns.pdf MIT’s Ally Toolkit: Gender Neutral Pronoun Usage]
* [http://www.warren-wilson.edu/~writingcenter/Gender-Neutral_Language.pdf Warren Wilson: Using Gender-Neutral Language in Academic Writing]
* [http://www.warren-wilson.edu/~writingcenter/Gender-Neutral_Language.pdf Warren Wilson: Using Gender-Neutral Language in Academic Writing]
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